


Met a Boy in a Bar, Went to His Hotel Room

by Diary



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Awkward Conversations, Background Relationships, Bechdel Test Pass, Bisexual Robert Sugden, Breaking Up & Making Up, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Declarations Of Love, Disturbing Themes, Family, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Minor Robert Sugden/Chrissie White, POV Multiple, Past Child Abuse, Past Incest, Past Rape/Non-con, Romance, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:55:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 35,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8037649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: AU. Aaron and Robert meet under different circumstances. Complete.





	1. Lust

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Emmerdale.

Aaron sighs when his mobile rings. “Hey, Liv."

“Gabby’s having her monthly."

“Okay." Drowning the rest of his beer, he signals for another. “What’s this got to do with me?”

“If you’re willing to renegotiate my punishment, nothing."

Torn between laughing and beating his head against the counter, he takes a deep breath. “It depends on what you mean by renegotiate. If you want to take her to the cinema or have her over for a few nights, yeah, of course, but no way are you two going to some party or you staying over at hers.”

“The cinema would just make her puke, and why would I want to go to a party with her when she’d just make me an accessory to murder, and then, you’d never let me have any more chocolate-potato pancakes?”

“Liv,” he tries not to groan, “you can have chocolate-potato pancakes whenever you want. No matter what you did, I’d never-”

“I can’t have chocolate-potato pancakes until my punishment is over,” she insists. “Um, but Gabby’s going to need a gob load of jelly babies and cream soda, and until I get my allowance again, I have no money.”

“Alright, is Mum or Paddy around? I’ll sort it with them.”

“She’s downstairs. I’ll get her.” She sighs. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, of course. Are you and her going to watch DVDs or listen to music? Do you need money for that, too?”

“We’re having a Doctor Who marathon.”

“Right, good.” He thinks of something. “Wait, don’t jelly babies-”

“She’s not a vegetarian during her monthly, it’s a matter of emotional and physical self-preservation, and so is no one saying absolutely anything about it.”

“Got it."

“Here’s Chas.”

“Hiya, love," his mum greets. "How’s it going? Did you get in safely?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. You?”

“Good, sweetheart. Let me guess, give Liv the money and let her have Gabby over?”

“Yeah, and apparently, don’t say anything about her not being a vegetarian right now."

“No, of course not. I’m not daft.”

“Well, that makes one of us, at least. If everything else is alright with Liv, I’m going to head to my room soon and get some kip.”

“That sounds good. I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too. If Liv and I don’t talk later, tell her I love her, yeah?”

“Will do,” she agrees.

He hangs up.

“Teenage daughter?”

Jumping slightly, he looks over and sees a handsome man has sat down near him.

“Little sister,” he answers. “Definitely a teenager, though.”

She’s better than he’ll ever be, but there are times when he’s dealing with her latest mood or stunt and, remembering some of the things teenage him put everyone through, he finds himself wondering how he possibly managed to keep one friend or family member in his corner, never mind why none of them didn’t decide to just kill him.

Laughing slightly, the man twists a ring on his left ring finger. “Been there, mate. Well, in a way. I had a teenage stepson.”

“Divorce?”

“In the process." Offering his hand, he says, “I’m Robert.”

He shakes it. “Aaron.”

The man concentrates on his beer, and Aaron finishes his.

Abruptly, Jackson, Hazel, and Ed enter his mind. He remembers Jackson’s friendly, causal offer of a game of pool, and if they hadn’t been in a gay bar, he likely would have been happy to accept the invitation. Hazel’s tearful pleas for him to live and find happiness are never too far from his mind. Ed is tentatively involved with a new bloke, and since Liv’s come, he’s stopped worrying as much, but he still occasionally goes on about Aaron needing to, at least, try to have a bit of a social life outside of the village.

“Are you close to him? Your stepson?”

Giving him a surprised look, Robert shakes his head. “I wanted to be. I tried. But the truth is, I won’t miss having to deal with him. It’s not his mum or granddad’s fault, but he’s a messed up little punk who’s going to get himself into more trouble than they can get him out of one of these days. They’re not doing him or themselves any favours by always taking his side.”

“Right, well, cheers,” he says.

Robert briefly raises his beer.

Aaron leaves, and thinking of Paddy and his mum, he reminds himself the guilt shouldn’t be indulged. Paddy certainly didn’t do himself any favours by always taking his side, but all the people who refused to give up on him, he has them to thank for the fact he’s alive, healthy, and able to take care of Liv. After a rough start, after being terrified she’d put herself and him through what he used to put himself and others through, they’ve mostly figured things out, but if this suddenly changes, he doesn’t care what he has to do, he’ll never give up on her.

…

After five minutes, he finally accepts his keycard isn’t going to work.

Rolling his shoulders, he takes a few steady breaths and rubs at his temples.

He’s almost to the lift when he hears, “Oh, hello again.”

Looking over, he sees Robert.

Robert frowns. “Something happen with your kid sister, mate? You look even more stressed than you did down in the bar.”

“No." Waving his keycard, he admits, “I think I might have had this in my pocket with my mobile.”

Obviously biting down a smile, Robert says, “Oh. Well, my suite’s not far. If you want to call the front desk from it and have another drink, I think I might have some paracetamol.”

Aaron hesitates, but realising he does need to use the loo and some paracetamol would be nice, he says, “That’d be great, thanks.”

…

Tossing him a bottle of paracetamol, Robert motions to the minibar. “Help yourself.”

While Aaron was in the bathroom, Robert has changed into a white tee and a pair of low-riding trackies, and Aaron is confronted with the fact, aside from being handsome, Robert is a right fit bloke.

“Thanks, mate,” he says.

Digging out a bottle of fizzy orange juice, he takes two tablets and calls the front desk. After hanging up, he asks, "You have any brothers or sisters?”

“I have a little sister, too, but she’s all grown,” Robert answers. “And we have a brother. On a good day, him and I can begrudgingly acknowledge the other exists. Most days aren’t good days.”

“But she and him get on?”

“Yeah. She’s determined to love us both, even if that means wanting to kill us for being what she considers unfair and childish.”

“At least, she’s grown,” Aaron offers. “If our dad ever comes near my sister, I’ll kill him. No joke. She only has a small picture of what he did to me, of why her mum took her away.”

He’s terrified he might need to tell her more someday.

There’s a knock on the door, and he goes to answer it.

…

After his door is opened and the employee’s left, he tells Robert, “Thank you.”

“No problem. Take care of yourself.” Squeezing his shoulder, Robert leaves.

…

Aaron is currently going against most of the instincts inside him.

He’s never quite agreed with _getting angry doesn’t solve anything_ , but he can agree the last thing Liv needs is to hear he went around causing trouble with rude words, property damage, and bodily harm and possibly got himself arrested just because he was surrounded by noisy people.

Above him, something, likely the bed, is continually moving and creaking, and even knowing it’s unlikely, part of him is actually afraid it might crash through the ceiling. In the room on the right, there’s a party going on, and in the room on the left, the couple alternates between screaming insults and screaming as they make their bed creak and groan.

Complaining to the management goes against a different set of instincts.

Groaning, he slips on his trousers and coat, grabs his mobile, and after a moment of debate, picks up a pillow and the blanket. 

…

In his car, he settles as best he can in the backseat, closes his eyes, and-

Through the throbbing pain in his hand and head, he opens the door and demands, “What in the hell are you playing at?”

The person who knocked moves back slightly. “Did you manage to lock yourself out again?”

“It was too noisy. How did you know I was out here, and why do you think it’s any concern of yours?”

“Don’t flatter yourself into thinking I’m stalking you, mate,” Robert says in a much too smug tone. “I just happened to look outside and see a hobo wandering around the car park.”

“Do one,” he mutters.

“Well, the suite’s quiet, and I have a sofa.”

It takes a moment to process the words.

“And why would you do that?”

There’s a sigh. “You seem like a decent bloke, and the last few months I’ve been having- it’s obvious you’re stressed. A proper night’s sleep might help you, at least.”

Aaron tries to figure out the best way to respond, and Robert adds, “I don’t expect anything out of you.”

Even knowing he’s likely to regret this, Aaron finds himself saying, “Thanks, mate.”

…

After Robert’s called for a wake-up call, Aaron gets another fizzy orange juice and asks, “Are you here on business, or because of the divorce?”

“Both. I met Chrissie when I was working for her dad, and when we got married, I was given a bigger share in the company. Now, my dear father-in-law is trying to drive me out. I’m not going to let that happen.” Rubbing his temples, Robert opens a beer. “Chrissie and I didn’t work out. It wasn’t either of our faults, but it especially wasn’t mine. I didn’t cheat on her, and as much of a nightmare as he was, I never so much as raised my voice at her son. The result is, I’ve spent months going on various business trips that Lawrence, the father-in-law in question, keeps hoping I’ll fail at.”

“That’s rough, mate,” Aaron offers.

“Yeah, well, I won’t,” Robert declares.

Aaron finds himself believing him.

“What about you? Here on business?”

“Yeah. Mechanic. I work for my uncle. He’s sent me to get some special parts for this new order we’ve got.”

 "Any girlfriend or wife in the picture?”

“I’m gay.”

Robert shrugs. “Boyfriend or husband?”

“No. Might understand where you’re coming from, though. My last boyfriend, we were together for two years, and we’re still good mates. It just became obvious we were never going to be in love. Does your wife- ex-wife?- is she taking your side or her dad’s?”

“She’s trying not to. Take either of our sides, and I don’t blame her. We were in love. I still love her. It’s just- I guess, sometimes, love isn’t enough.”

“Yeah, been there, too,” Aaron mutters.

Thankfully, instead of responding to this, Robert says, “I’m going to head off to bed, now. Feel free to watch TV, if you want. After living with a teenage boy, I can sleep through almost anything.”

“Really? I used to be able to, but now that Liv’s come, suddenly, everything wakes me up.”

Robert smiles. “So, she’s only recently become part of your life?”

Suddenly feeling defensive and knowing there’s no reason to, Aaron nods. “Technically, we’re half. Her mum left my dad when Liv was around seven. She found out what all our dad had been doing behind her back. I- I don’t blame her. I was angry, a right violent tosser, and I didn’t even really pay much attention to the fact Liv even existed. I wouldn’t want my kid around a bloke like that, either. But sometimes, I wish I’d tried to put an effort in, tried to stay in touch. Been able to see her grow.”

“How’d you get back in touch with her?”

Aaron grimaces. “My dad. Liv tracked him down, little mini-Sherlock Holmes, that girl is, and I found out about it.”

Memories of Sandra standing nearby and crying when he took his shirt off in front of Liv brim to the surface. _When my boyfriend died, I couldn’t handle it, but, Liv, you need to understand, I never would have handled things so badly if Gordon hadn’t messed me up so bad when I was little. For years and years, he made me hurt myself and everyone around me. A few years ago, I almost died._

“Sherlock Holmes?”

He could swear Robert’s eyes light up.

“I don’t have any interest in that. Liv, though, she worships him. She checked out the books so many times, Sandra, her mum, finally found all them to buy for her, and sometimes, she’ll listen to audio-books of them at night. She loves that BBC adaption, and depending on the day, she either loves the American one or is practically screaming her head off about how everyone involved should die.”

Grinning, Robert says, “Same."

Laughing, Aaron rolls his eyes.

“Obviously, I don’t know all the particulars, but it sounds like you’ve done the best for her. Sometimes, loving someone is all the more reason to stay away. And from what I heard you saying to her earlier, you’re doing a proper job of taking care of her.”

“Not sure I agree, but thanks." Seeing Robert’s about to reply, he adds, “Better get to bed, yeah?”

…

Aside from being soft-eyed, yawning, and mumbly, Robert is wearing nothing but a pair of black pants. 

“Thank you for last night.”

The smile Robert gives is different from all the ones he had yesterday. “No problem. I’m going to hunt down an Americano. You have time for breakfast?”

“Yeah,” Aaron answers.

…

When Aaron gets home, Adam’s waiting at the pub. Hugging him, he says, “Tell me you did something besides get the parts and stop at the hotel, mate.”

“Well, I sort of stopped at someone else’s." Seeing the look, he quickly adds, “Not like that.”

After Aaron’s done explaining, Adam groans and tosses peanuts at him. “You didn’t even try? Mate, he could have been wicked into you and just waiting for you to-”

“Yeah, except for the fact he’s married. Technically, going through a divorce, but based on the way he talked, if there was a chance at working things out, he’d jump at it, even if it meant dealing with her kid and his father-in-law again.”

Deflating slightly, Adam sighs. “Oh. Well, still, was the suite nice?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t even tell I was sleeping on a couch instead of a bed.”

“That’s good, at least. By the way, Vic and Liv want Vic to teach her how to cook.”

“Okay,” he says. “Better her than my mum, I guess. They’ll be doing it at your place, right? So when the fire happens-”

“Oi, shut it!”

Adam almost pushes him off the barstool, and he laughs.

…

Squirming out of his hug, Liv demands, “What’d you bring me?”

Seeing his mum’s look, he orders, “Don’t start, Mum.”

Kneeling down, he digs out a postcard, some brightly coloured rocks, and some hotel soaps, lotions, and mints.

“Right,” his mum sighs. “You expect us to believe you don’t steal them.”

“Believe what you like. Yeah, there was a time I would’ve stolen them, but I haven’t ever given Liv stolen property.”

Briefly, he wonders, if maybe, as a kid- but he quickly dismisses the thought.

“And how much did that cost, then?”

“Get Cain to check the hotel bill if you’re so desperate to know.”

The truth is, he always offers to pay, but so far, each hotel employee has just told him to take the soap and lotion, and on occasion, they’ve thrown in mints or the like, too.

Liv almost knocks him over with her hug. “Thank you.”

Kissing her head, he replies, “No problem. Fancy going to the cinema tonight?”

“If there’s anything good showing,” she answers.

…

Cain sends him on another trip, and when he’s checking in, he hears raised voices.

Finishing, he goes around the corner and sees security hovering near two men, and his stomach reacts when he realises one of them is Robert.

“You could, at least, have the decency to not meet my daughter and grandson the same day you’re planning to-”

“Cheers for implying that the businesswoman I just signed a deal with for _your_ company is-”

“Innocence doesn’t suit you!”

“No, it never has,” Robert agrees. “That’s part of why you used to like me so much, isn’t it, Lawrence? Because I was-”

Aaron isn’t sure what exactly Robert’s next words might be, but he knows down to his bones, they aren’t going make the situation any better.

“Hey, mate!”

Both men and security jump and look over.

Clasping Robert’s shoulder, he says, “You know, if you want to get that drink, not getting thrown out and possibly arrested might be a good idea. I’m only in town for the night.”

Underneath his hand, Aaron feels the muscles in Robert’s shoulder relaxing.

Taking a breath, Robert responds, “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Hey, remember the father-in-law I told you about? This is Lawrence White.”

Shaking his hand, Aaron says, “Aaron Livesy.”

Lawrence looks confused but much calmer.

“Aaron’s in the automotive business. Last time we met, I promised him, if we ran into each other again, I’d buy him a drink.”

“Probably should be the other way around, though,” Aaron says. “I’d have ended up kipping in my car if it weren’t for him loaning his sofa.”

“Don’t mention it. How’s your sister doing?”

“Good. Something happening on that American Holmes show is world-ending, but at least, there haven’t been any calls from school lately.”

Giving him what might be a fond look, Robert shakes his head and turns back to Lawrence. “With the decree nisi in place, I’m free to start something serious or just have a quick shag, if I want to, Lawrence. I’m not doing either. I love Chrissie. Now, if you’re done hurling accusations of cruelty and bad taste at me and sexist implications at an intelligent, savvy woman who is going to help your company, I’m going to have that drink.”

Nothing’s happened, and nothing will happen, but Aaron still thinks, _I’ve got to learn_.

He hasn’t gotten around to bringing it up in therapy, yet, because, he’s never told anyone but Sandra what happened, but he’s afraid Gordon has had an impact on who he finds himself wanting. He’s heard and seen enough to work out he was going to be gay no matter what- it’s just written in his DNA, he was once told-, but he has clear memories of his dad turning anything around and convincing people of anything just by talking.

Jackson was decent and, even in the end, he didn’t play games, but in the beginning, he scared Aaron badly. Funny and calm, he could make Aaron feel either irrationally stupid and worthless or safe and happy, and Aaron knows the former was down to Aaron being unwilling to truly listen instead of projecting. Beyond this, though, he saw Jackson put people at ease, rethink decisions, and just open up all just by talking to them.

In some ways, Ed’s the same, but he’s more focused on having a good time and trying to make sure those around him are, too, than convincing people of things and changing minds.

Robert might be as decent as he’s come across so far, but Aaron instinctively knows Robert could take someone down much worse than he did Lawrence with just words. He could talk someone into signing a bad deal, or he could make a grown man cry by throwing all of their weaknesses in their face.

They get to the bar, and Robert says, “Thanks for that.”

Nodding, Aaron orders a pint. “Not that I care, but did you? With that businesswoman?”

Frowning, Robert tries to smack him with a coaster. “No!”

Laughing, Aaron dodges.

“She’s divorced with three kids. One thing I’m never going to do is get involved with someone who has kids, again.”

“Shagging doesn’t have to mean getting involved,” he points out.

“True. But all the same, I took Chrissie and Lachlan, her son, out earlier. I wouldn’t do that and, then, knowing Lawrence would only be too happy to tell her, get with someone right under his nose. At least, not with still being technically married and the separation being so fresh. I just made a mistake in thinking that he wouldn’t insist on turning something innocent into another way of trying to spin me into the bad guy.”

“Hmm,” Aaron responds.

“Any plans for dinner tonight?”

Aaron looks up. “What?”

“Do you have anything lined up for dinner tonight?”

“No. I brought a sandwich and some crisps with me. I thought I’d just have that in my room.”

“Well, as nutritionally fulfilling as that sounds and with such fascinating company, too, any chance I could tempt you into joining me?”

“For dinner?”

Aaron swears, if his face is turning red, he’s going to find out how to resurrect himself, kill himself, and then, do it.

“Yeah,” Robert answers. “Aside from you and Lawrence, I don’t know anyone around here, and I’m sick of eating room service alone in my room.”

“No law saying you have to have company to go out."

“No, but I prefer it.”

 _I’m never going to learn_ , Aaron thinks before answering, “Sure, mate, but it has to be somewhere I can afford.”

…

When they get back, Robert asks, “Up for a nightcap?”

“Yeah, but first, I need to call Liv.”

“I’ll wait in the suite?”

“Sounds good.”

Robert leaves, and Aaron calls.

“I made biscuits,” Liv announces.

“That’s- great,” he offers. “Save some for me, yeah?”

She scoffs. “They’d cause food poisoning. We threw them away. Tomorrow, I’m going to try making mac’n’cheese.”

“Okay. Uh, if that’s any better, save some for me.”

“Will do. I need to finish my homework. Call me before school, if you can.”

“Will do,” he echoes. “I love you, Liv.”

“I love you, too.”

…

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. She hasn’t managed to burn the village down, yet.” At Robert’s look, he explains, “My mate’s wife is teaching Liv how to cook. So far, nothing edible has come out, but also no burns or wildfires, either.”

Laughing, Robert hands him a drink. “Good. One of the few ways Lawrence and I got along at was, we both liked to cook for Chrissie and Lachlan. Some weekends, we’d team up whilst they slept in and make a right feast.”

Silence descends.

“Look,” Robert says. “Really, thank you for earlier. I could have handled things better, but ever since Chrissie and I got involved- Lawrence genuinely liked me, but for his little girl?” He shakes his head. “So, thanks for stepping in.”

“Yeah, no problem, mate. I hope I’m not like that with any boy Liv brings around, but I think I might be.”

Robert looks at him, and suddenly, Aaron feels over-heated with his stomach squirming and a combination of fear and excitement practically thrumming through him. “I imagine there were a whole host of dads and big brothers breathing sighs of relief when you came out.”

“Yeah? Why? ‘Cause I’m rough?”

“I’m sure you can be,” Robert answers. “Maybe you actually were in the past. Bit hard to think that, though, when I’ve seen how wrapped up around your kid sister’s finger you are. I’ve never even met her, and I know you’d literally do anything for her.”

Moving closer, Robert continues, “No. You’re one of the good ones, and in my experience of being one of the bad ones, dads can handle the likes of me more than they can you.”

“Trust me, I’m not one of the good ones,” Aaron says.

Warm hands are on his face, and Robert tastes just as good as he looks, and there’s a space inside Aaron trying to stop him, but he brandishes it in favour of tugging at Robert’s tie and belt.

When he feels Robert going for his shirt, though, he moves away slightly. “Shirt stays.”

Making a laughing, disbelieving sound, Robert demands, “Really? Seriously?”

“Yes,” Aaron firmly tells him.

Sighing, Robert pulls him back. “Fine.”

Just before Aaron gets Robert fully undressed, however, Robert moves away. “I should have- before- This can’t be serious. I can’t-”

Trying to pull Robert back, Aaron insists, “I promise you, we’re on the same page. It’s a one-off. Or it will be, if you’ll-”

Thankfully, Robert resumes kissing him.

…

Through the haze of pleasure, doubt and guilt settle in.

He doesn’t want to acknowledge this is the best sex he’s had since Jackson.

Beside him, Robert sits up, leans down, and places kisses across his forehead, and the warm joy pushes the doubt and guilt further back. “Good?”

“Might say that,” he answers.

“Oh, go on, admit it, you’re impressed.”

“It’s been awhile, alright,” Aaron defensively replies.

Robert eases back down on the bed.

“Does Chrissie know? About you being bisexual or whatever you are?”

“No,” Robert answers. “It wasn’t important. Once I married her, I was never going to be with anyone else. And I wasn’t. The only person I ever asked her about was Lachlan’s dad.”

“But before her, you were with men.”

“One-night stands,” Robert says. “I had girlfriends, too.”

Aaron knows he needs to leave soon.

Twisting on his side, he carefully reaches out and lets his fingers graze the raised skin near Robert’s heart.

“Just a stupid accident,” Robert says.

Aaron’s not sure he believes him, but hoping for another round, he kisses Robert.

…

A sharp kick wakes Aaron up, and he starts to roll over to tell Robert _if you want me to go, just say so_ , but he stops when he sees Robert is sound asleep.

He wonders if he should go, anyways, but Robert has an arm loosely slung over him, and it feels so good.

Letting his head fall back against the pillow and rubbing against it until his head is in a comfortable position, he closes his eyes, concentrates on the arm around him, and falls back asleep.

…

“Love, stop it,” his mum orders. “Liv isn’t going to get upset over you missing one phone call.”

“But I promised.”

“And I promise you, love, she was fine. She had brekkie, talked about some turtle on one of her shows, and said she’d be going to the cinema with Gabby tonight.”

“Alright,” he sighs.

“And I reminded her how much you love her. She said, and I quote, ‘I know. I love him, too. Even when he’s not, my big brother is brilliant.’”

Looking down, he closes his eyes and quietly says, “Thanks, Mum.”

“I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They hang up, and he goes back to where Robert is drinking an Americano. “Assuming Liv’s best mate, a right troublemaker, doesn’t pull some stunt tonight, everyone’s fine.”

“Good.” Robert pushes a cup of fizzy orange juice over.

“Thanks, mate.”

Nodding, Robert frowns down at his coffee. “Listen, about last night being a one-off-” He hesitates.

“I’ve here until Monday,” Aaron says. “Neither of us is in any place for something serious, but if you wanted to make the most of my time here, I wouldn’t object.”

Robert smiles brightly. “I would,” he says. “Like that.”

…

On Monday, Robert grabs Aaron’s phone, and ignoring the struggling and protests, he says, “Relax, I’m not looking through the classified prototypes for 007’s newest car.”

Aaron is still gaping when Robert holds it up.

 _Robert_ and a business and mobile number has been entered.

Taking it back, Aaron says, “Let’s do yours, then.”

Afterwards, he kisses Robert. “Thanks. For everything.”

“You, too,” Robert says. “I hope we can see each other again soon.”

“Yeah, me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I know some people have a different moral view on the issue, but for me, when a couple decides to divorce and, especially, after proceedings have started, the marriage is over, and if one or both of them want to date/sleep with someone else, it doesn't fit the definition of cheating/adultery. Having the divorce finalised is more of a legal formality than anything. Therefore, I don't view what Aaron/Robert do here as the same thing they did in canon.


	2. Love

Liv and Finn are chatting about some book, and hoping he doesn’t come across as helpless as he feels, Aaron asks his mum, “Should I understand this?”

Kissing his cheek and pinching his neck when he wipes it away, she answers, “No, love. Just be glad she’s reading. Of course, if she starts reading in class all the time- well, one problem at a time.”

“Thanks,” he sarcastically replies.

Laughing, she wanders off to help a customer, and Aaron finds himself thinking of Robert. Aside from the fact Robert would likely understand, last time they met up, Robert had talked about some new film coming out and how he hoped the cinema wasn’t going to be filled with little old ladies and mums with crying babies.

Aaron had made some smart remark- from what he understood, the film was about some bird finding herself-, but part of him had considered suggesting they go see it. Liv mostly goes for mysteries and biopics, but he’s sat through love stories with her. For all Jackson loved watching rugby, he also loved The Princess Bride and once made Aaron sit through Pippi Longstocking, of all things, with him and Hazel. 

Then, he reminded himself what they had was causal, and he didn’t have to make the sacrifice.

“Sacrilege,” Finn declares with an offended look.

Liv glares. “No, it isn’t. You’re the one who…”

Aaron’s mobile rings, and he looks down to see _Robert._

Reaching over, he clasps Liv’s shoulder. “Hey, no poisoning Finn’s coffee or going after him with a hockey stick, again, right?”

“Fine,” she huffs.

“Or anything else-”

“Just answer that or turn it off, I won’t try to commit homicide or break Geneva conventions mandates, even though he deserves it.”

“Technically, the Geneva convention…” Finn starts.

Going outside, Aaron answers, “Hey, sorry. Dealing with Liv.”

“Everything okay?”

“Fine. She and a mate are debating some book, only, her idea of debate sometimes involves less talking and more a stranger might end up ringing the police.”

Robert laughs. “Think she can be trusted not to get arrested if you slip away next week for the weekend?”

Inside his chest, his heart warms and speeds up. “You’re planning on being near?”

…

When Paddy invites him over, Aaron braces himself.

“This mate you’re meeting this weekend, that is, well, your mum thinks there might be more to the story.”

“Like I told her, I met him on a business trip. When he’s near here, we watch footie matches and have lads’ night out.”

“Okay,” Paddy says. “It’s just, if you told me there was more, you know I wouldn’t tell your mum. All I want is for you to be safe and happy.”

He feels himself losing the battle. “In between that, we shag. And I like him, Paddy, I really do, but it being causal is good. He’s recently divorced, and with Liv-” He shrugs.

“Sometimes, causal is what people need,” Paddy says. “Just make sure, if the opportunity for something serious with someone who could make you happy comes along, you don’t use this as an excuse not to go for it.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

“And if one of you does start to want more- if it’s you, and he can’t give it to you, I know it’ll hurt terribly, but it really is for the best that you walk away. And if it’s him that does and you don’t, you need to be fair and either let him walk away or walk away yourself.”

Taking a breath, he nods. “I pretty much learned that with Ed, didn’t I?”

Paddy squeezes his arm. “What’s his name?”

“Robert.”

“Robert-?” Paddy prompts.

“I don’t know his last name."

“Just be careful,” Paddy gently tells him.

…

As soon as he sees Robert, he puts everything else out of his mind.

Through the kisses, Robert gasps, “I’ve missed you.”

Robert’s managed to find the spot behind his left ear, and through the tingling, almost too-much pleasure, Aaron manages to get out, “So have I.”

…

Lying in bed and trying to catch his breath, Aaron looks over. “Hey, what’s your last name?”

Aaron can feel the slight way Robert tenses. “Does that matter?”

“No. But it might matter that you don’t want me to know.”

Robert sighs. “Livesy, right, but also a Dingle?”

Sitting up, Aaron nods. “Now, ya really need to tell me, mate.”

“Sugden,” Robert says. “Robert Sugden, son of Jack Sugden.”

Aaron feels himself smiling. “Really? Well, then, you can have your share of pride in Liv successfully making a batch of strawberry brownie kebabs.”

Robert’s eyes light up, and he props himself up. “Yeah? Vic’s the one teaching your sister how to cook?”

“Uh-huh. You know that she’s married, right?”

“Not much beyond that,” Robert answers with clear sadness.

“Right, well, don’t worry. You couldn’t ask for a better bloke than Adam. He’s my best mate, been for years, and you wouldn’t believe how much he loves her, mate.”

“Good,” Robert says with a soft smile. “My brother?”

Aaron hesitates.

He never knew Jo, and he does believe Andy never meant to hurt Mrs Sugden. Whether Jackson knew about her and the fire or not (Aaron suddenly desperately wishes he could ask), Jackson liked Andy, and Andy was always good to Jackson. Andy and Paddy, and Andy and Cain still get on. Even knowing some find it hypocritical, and maybe it is, what with what he did to Sandra and so many others and what his mum once did to him, when Liv first moved in, Aaron made it clear to everyone there was a list of people he wasn’t going to have her near, and Andy was on it.

Adam and Vic hadn’t taken it well, but eventually, everything was more-or-less sorted. They would never have Liv over or invite her to something if Andy was around, but if Andy ever approached her in public for whatever reason, he wasn’t to make a scene over it.

“I think he’s doing well. Me and him have never been actual mates. Um, is this a bad time to mention, before all those dads and big brothers were able to sigh a breath of relief, you wouldn’t have been one of them?”

Robert’s makes a face, and Aaron’s torn between laughing and wanting to kiss him. “You and Victoria dated?”

“Briefly.”

“Oh, God,” Robert mutters. Rubbing his face, he shakes his head. “Fine. Seeing as how you’re not dead, if you did anything with her, she was obviously old enough to make the decision. I don’t want to know. Please, don’t tell me.”

“I remember seeing you around the village a few times, a long time ago,” Aaron quickly says. “You look different.”

More than seeing Robert, though, his mind rapidly fills with all the gossip he heard about him. Some of it might not be true, but most of it, he knows for a fact did happen.

“Right.”

The word is soft and bitter, and Aaron looks over to see Robert studying him with a resigned look. “Putting the pieces together, aren’t you? I pegged you for Emmerdale the first time I heard you talking, and I- my step-mum, Diane, knows your dad. Gordon Livesy, right? And she works with your mum, Chas Dingle.”

Before Aaron can say anything, Robert continues, “I’m not that person anymore.”

Aaron lies back down. “You were gone by the time I started giving ‘em stuff to talk about. Maybe, someday, I’ll tell you some of it. What made you change?”

For a long moment, Robert studies him, and through the suspicion, Aaron thinks he sees a bit of hope peeking through.

Finally, Robert leans against the headboard. “Most people call it selfishness, but I’ve always called it self-preservation. Whichever is right, I have it in me past even my bones. I’m always going to look out for myself and try to get the best I can for me. Unfortunately- I hated myself. I don’t know when it started, but one day, I realised that I absolutely couldn’t stand myself. So, the only choice I had was to change. And it was slow, and it hurt, and sometimes, it still does, but I have.”

“I’m glad you made that choice than any other,” Aaron offers.

“What, you mean suicide?” Robert’s nose wrinkles. “I’d never do that. If I were anyone else, I might have killed the person, but the idea of suicide- I’ve never been able to understand how anyone could get to a place where they’d even think of that, let alone try or actually do it.”

He’s not sure what it says about him that his first thought is along the lines of how Robert will definitely never be seeing him without his top on, then. The words vaguely hurt, but he pushes it aside. He knows most normal people think the same, and he’d rather Robert and Liv and the like think like this rather than ever come to where they can understand.

Reaching up, he kisses Robert. “I’m not judging you, Robert.”

The next kiss is just as soft but deeper.

…

“Why do you always bring a sandwich and crisps,” Robert demands.

Aaron dodges Robert’s attempt to take them. “Oi, I said we could go out for dinner, but I’m hungry, now. And order what you want, but you aren’t buying me lunch.”

Sighing dramatically, Robert steals a handful of crisps.

“Hey, obviously, I wouldn’t tell her about this, but do you think- I could talk to Vic, tell her me and you’ve met, and tell her a bit about how you’ve been doing.”

“No,” Robert immediately says. “Please, don’t.”

He thinks about arguing, but remembering how he used to be, he knows it would only make things worse. In the end, it was down to several different people responsible for him and his mum giving each other another chance.

“Offer’s always open,” he tells Robert.

“Thank you.” Robert gives him a quick kiss.

…

When Aaron gets back, he and Adam eat peanuts in the park.

“So,” Adam says, “if you’re not going to tell me, you’re not going to tell me, but I know you and this Robert mate meet for more than watching footie.”

Aaron wonders why realisations along the lines of _Oh, Christ, I’ve been shagging Adam’s brother-in-law_ have to happen during moments like these.

“It’s causal,” he says, and trying not to sound desperate, he adds, “Just tell me my mum doesn’t know.”

“Relax. She suspects, but some of us have talked her around. Is he- so, he’s _not_ a boyfriend, then?”

“No,” he answers. “He’s bisexual, but when he does start something serious, it’ll be with a woman.”

“Oh. And you’re okay with this? Really?”

Hating the concerned look Adam is giving him, he rolls his eyes and lets out a breath. “Adam, with Liv in the picture,” he looks around to make sure there’s no one around who might get word back to her, “I don’t have time for a boyfriend. Flipping heck, I don’t even have time for a quick pull most of the time. So, yeah, I’m more than okay with getting a day or two of watching footie, shagging, and not having to worry about him outside of that small window.”

Adam smiles, and Aaron’s a surprised there doesn’t seem to be any doubt in it, but he’ll happily accept it.

“That’s great, Aaron. Speaking of Liv, for her birthday, me and Vic were- we might have found her another present, but we needed to talk to you.”

“You’re both already getting her one,” he points out.

“Well, yeah, but since Basil’s coming home for her birthday, I know you and Chas and Paddy helped her set up that aquarium, but we found a, it could be turtle playhouse, yeah? Why don’t you come over to ours, give it a look, see what you think?”

“And where exactly did you find this thing?”

“Farmer’s market,” Adam answers. “They were going to donate it to some vet clinic, but we talked them around. You don’t think it’s a good idea, it’ll go to Paddy, right?”

“How much did it cost?”

“A promise we’d donate it to Paddy if it didn’t go to Liv. I swear, mate. He’s a good guy. Liked the idea of making a fifteen-year-old girl happy. Didn’t make it for the money.”

“Alright, well, when’s a good time to come over?”

…

A fortnight before Liv’s birthday, he comes home from the cinema with Liv to find a voicemail from Robert on his mobile.

When Robert answers, he says, “Look, I can’t meet you right now. Liv’s turning fifteen the Wednesday after. We’re having a party on Saturday, and getting her mum here from Ireland and some of her presents- Sorry.”

“Yeah, you told me when her birthday was. There’s a holiday lodge near Emmerdale, about an hour’s drive away. I can be there tomorrow. One day. It might do you some good.”

He hesitates.

“Come on, Aaron. It sounds like you need a break. Taking one day off will still give you plenty of time.”

“I’ll see,” Aaron says. “If I can. But I’m not promising. I’ll call you in the morning, yeah?”

“Good.”

…

The morning doesn’t start out good.

His dad sends Liv a necklace and letter, and because he’s never thought to monitor their post, of course, her being one who brings it in, there’s no chance for him to hide it from her.

It might have been okay, except, his mum suggested they invite him around for the party, and he could see how much Liv wanted this, and he’d almost started yelling before they could get her off to school. 

“He’s her father, love,” his mum tells him, now, with stupid, pleading eyes and voice. “Your dad. He has a right-”

For years and years, Aaron has been telling himself, _None of this is her fault. If she knew, she’d’ve done something_.

He believes this down to his bones.

This doesn’t change the fact part of him can’t help but be angry and wonder how and why in the hell she doesn’t know. Why she didn’t protect him, why she couldn’t have just been a mum when he needed her, why she thinks she has a right to try to be one, now.

“That’s why Sandra took her, isn’t it,” he snaps. “I was gone. If I came around again, they could have rung the police, and I’d’ve been sent down. So, it wasn’t me. No, she took her daughter, changed their names, and disappeared.”

“They were having problems aside from what happened with you, love,” she quietly says. “Sandra- it isn’t my place to say anything about what she did. You have Liv, back, now.”

He feels the anger building. “It sounds as if you have something you want to say. She protected her daughter.”

There was a time he used to hate Sandra more than he did his mum, but she made sure Liv was never touched. She tried her best to take care of her and give her a good life. Liv’s never been hit or told she was worthless and unwanted.

He can’t hate Sandra because of all this.

“Baby- Do you remember, before me and Dad divorced, you used to beg us for a little brother or sister? You wanted a brother, but you said, if you got a sister instead, that would be fine. You talked all the time about what a good big brother you’d make.”

Bewildered, he answers, “No.”

“When Sandra had Liv, you used to sleep on the nursery floor. You’d change her nappies. Not all the time, but most of the time, when Liv was around, you’d try to be good. No talking back, no acting up. When Liv had nightmares, you’d let her sleep with you. I remember,” suddenly, she laughs, “sorry, love, but I remember once, you came ‘round wearing gloves. When I finally managed to get you to take them off, it turned out, you had bright purple nails, and you practically poured the whole bottle of varnish remover over your hands when I told you they’d get it off.  You’d lost some bet with Liv and let her paint them.”

Sighing, she moves over and puts her hand on his cheek. “You never said anything when they moved away, but even at seventeen, you loved your baby sister so much, and Sandra took her away. You may not blame her, but I do. I know it must have hurt you so badly.”

“I don’t even remember most of that,” he says.

What he does remember is Liv crying over her broken doll, her favourite, of her covering her ears when he and them fought, of saying to his mates, right in front of her, _this is just my cow of a stepmum’s whiny baby, ignore her_.

Most of the good he did, he knows, must have been more about trying to protect an innocent baby rather than being overjoyed about having a little sister. In truth, until he came face-to-face with Liv again, he hadn’t spared hardly any thought to her or Sandra.

“You didn’t start hating your dad until after he threw you out and Sandra and Liv left, love. Maybe everyone handled things in bad ways, could’ve done better all around, but sweetheart, trying to keep him away from Liv the way you are isn’t going to do anyone any good.”

Yes, it will, he thinks.

Calm takes over, and part of him is scared at how he finds himself thinking of all the ways he knows a person can kill another person and not go down for it. He knows where to get guns, drugs, and even find certain people, and he isn’t this type of person. Back when he was angry all the time, if he was going to take it out, he’d do it with his fists or words. He didn’t plot out what to do to others and how to get away with it.

“Not having Sandra trying not to cry will, though,” he says. “Between her and him, it’d hurt Liv more for her to not be having a good time at the party than for him to be missing.”

Looking relieved, his mum nods. “Suppose you’re right. Alright, listen, we won’t call him, and we can just tell her that he’s busy. But, love, after the party, it might be a good idea for you and her to meet up with him, yeah?”

“I’ll think about it,” he answers.

…

After breakfast, the garage is swapped all day, and at one point, Robert calls, but Aaron doesn’t have any choice but to let it go to voicemail.

He hopes, if people ever decide to stop bringing in perfectly working cars they swear they heard a noise coming from some undefined place in, he can talk Robert around to not ending things.

It’s causal, but he does like Robert. Robert’s a bit like Liv when it comes to certain books and TV shows, he drives Aaron mad by refusing to believe there’s anything better than Japanese cars, and when he’s not ranting or patiently explaining stuff, he listens about Liv, Adam, and the newest car Aaron’s trying to restore, and he honestly doesn’t seem to mind or find it terribly boring.

…

When he gets home, Liv needs help with her science project, and he ends up taking her over to Paddy’s.

After dinner, he discovers Robert actually called a second time at one point.

Making sure Liv is settled in her room, he calls Robert and quietly says, “I meant to call, and if I could have answered you earlier, I would have. Today just hasn’t been a good day, mate.”

“What happened?”

“Not getting into it. But if you’ve stuck around, I can’t meet with you.”

He feels something hit his neck, and turning around, he finds his mum staring at him.

She flickers a piece of torn off napkin at him.

“I have to go. Sorry.”

He hangs up. “What’s that for? And I’m pretty sure I’ve told you before, stay out of my room.”

Coming in, she sits down and pulls him down beside her. “Just a mate, huh?”

“Mum-”

“You always come back smiling and happy, and I know you’re smart enough to be safe. Cain can spare you this weekend, love, I’ll make sure of it, and there’ll still be plenty of time to get the last details of the party done.”

“Right, because, I want me mum having me uncle give me time off so I can- Anyway, he wanted to meet me today. If he’s still around, it’ll only be for another day or two. He doesn’t matter, Mum. Here, us, that does.”

“Don’t have a go, but I’ve told you, before, sweetheart, you can’t always put Liv before everything. Everyone needs to blow off some steam occasionally. Just- see if he can stay around for the weekend. If he can, go see him. Please?”

…

As soon as he’s in the cabin, Robert has him against a wall or a door and is kissing him, and he knows he should try to properly apologise for everything, but instead, he lets himself get lost in how good it all feels.

…

Tugging at the bottom of Aaron’s shirt, Robert murmurs, “One of these days.”

Batting the hand away, Aaron says, “Not today.”

Stealing another kiss, Robert nods. “Right. I’m glad you could get away. There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“You know, if you don’t want to deal with me- with all this, there doesn’t need to be a big to-do about-”

“What? No!” Robert frowns. “I, uh, got you something, and knowing you the way I do, you might not exactly take it well, but I’m hoping you will.”

“Only vaguely concerned,” Aaron jokes. Propping himself off, he asks, “What’s the occasion, then?”

“Just a second, yeah?”

Getting out of bed, Robert grabs a bag Aaron hadn’t even noticed. Bringing it over, he crawls back on the bed and slides out a book.

It’s large enough it could probably kill a small dog, and it’s a hardcover with leather binding.

_The Complete Sherlock Holmes._

“So, really, you got this for my little sister. Who you’ve never even met.”

Turning it over, he reads it has all 4 novels and 56 short stories plus a foreword. It’s in mint condition- he can smell the scent brand-new books have. He never even knew they made books with all the Holmes stories gathered in one, and Sandra might have known, but this costs money, serious money a single mum doing secretarial work couldn’t afford. He’s not sure he could, either.

“I know you already have a gift lined up for her, but there’s no rule saying you have to only give one. I thought, since this is her first year with you, it’d make it really special.”

“How about this? You show me the receipt, and we’ll see if we can work something out.”

“No,” Robert says.

“Then, I appreciate the thought –I think-, but-”

“I got this for you,” Robert interrupts. “Because, even without the sex, we’re friends, and your kid sister having a wonderful birthday is important to you. I know you’ll give it to her without this, I promise you, I don’t doubt that, but you can’t deny this would only make it better, can you?”

“I don’t take things like this without paying the person back.”

“Well, who says I bought it? Someone could have given it to me. Or I could have nicked it. Granted, that would only make you less likely to take it, so, forget that, and if the police happen to come around, no one likes a grasser, right?”

Aaron laughs, and Robert’s smile gives way to laughing.

“I promise you, I’m never going to miss the money. It’s a book, Aaron. Not jewellery or an expensive computer program. It’s a book for a teenage kid. And I kind of hoped I wasn’t going to have to pay this card, but even though it’s a bit different, you and I have not getting to really watch our baby sisters grow in common. I’m sure you’ve looked out for her before.”

“Just tell me how much it is, Robert,” he says. “As much as it’d be nice to actually be able to surprise her, I’m not-”

“She already knows what you’re getting her?”

“Yeah. It’s a long, crazy story.”

Shrugging, Robert gets up, gets two beers and a bottle opener, and sits back down. Handing one of the beers to Aaron, he makes himself comfortable against the headboard and smiles. “Tell me.”

“A few months ago, Paddy took us along to help some lamb, and we found what turned out to be a turtle. Only-” He shudders at the memory. “It was this incredibly wee thing, half-crushed. I thought it was a rock or summat. But no, it was alive, and Paddy reckoned it was dehydrated and been without food for some time. Well, Paddy was going to- you know, quick and as painless as possible.”

“Liv figured this out before I could get her away, and she went mental. She sat down so she was shading it, and then, she threw her shoes, her earrings, nearby rocks, anything she could get her hands on. I got within a foot of her, the throwing and screaming would start up.”

“So,” he sighs, “Paddy thought it’d just die on its own soon enough. We got a rake, and I slid a bottle of water and sunscreen over to Liv.”

Along with most of the stuff she threw, but he reckons Robert doesn’t need to know this part.

“She kept trying to get it to sip drops of water off her fingers, and Paddy tossed her an eyedropper and talked her through using it. I pushed some hay over, and she broke some of it into tiny pieces. She kept talking to it, and I pushed over one of her books. I think it was one of these,” he taps the book, “but I don’t know.”

“When her throat got sore, Cain somehow convinced the library to loan out of one its audiobook players, and they listened to it. At one point, someone got a patio umbrella, and she set it up over them. Paddy found some medicine that might help, and after he swore on my soul, his stepson’s soul, and the continuing well-being of his car that it wasn’t going to do anything to hasten the thing’s death, he talked her through administering it.”

“By morning, that ruddy thing was still alive, and Paddy actually had hope. There was more swearing on people’s souls and property, and she helped Paddy take it to the clinic. Told us his name was Basil. And well, actually, it’s a her, but her name’s still Basil. Paddy got in touch with a mate who specialised in turtles, and now, Basil won’t sleep unless Liv reads her a chapter or two at night, steals my sandwich crusts, and once let all the dogs in the clinic out.”

No one else believes the last one, but nothing will convince Aaron that Basil wasn’t responsible.

“Anyway, Basil’s all better now, but Paddy’s running a few more tests just to make sure. I’d already bought all the stuff for the aquarium and turtle food, but Liv made it clear she wanted toys for Basil and a little sign for the aquarium and a Plecostomus she’s going to name Jane.”

“For Miss Marple?”

Aaron shrugs. “We’re going to get her, hopefully, actually a her instead of a him, after the party.”

“Right, you’re okay with the girl turtle having a male name, but-”

Aaron tosses his mobile over.

“Why do you- this is a picture of the turtle, innit?”

“Yep. I don’t know anything about this Basil Rathbone bloke, but other than him, the name’s turned out to fit surprisingly well.”

Looking a little- tentative might be the word, Robert asks, “Got any other photos in here I could see? Of Liv or your mum or some of your mates?”

“Yeah,” Aaron answers. “Here’s one of Liv on her first day of school. I mean, school here, or- you know what I mean, when she first started living with us.”

“Cute kid,” Robert says with a soft smile.

“Beautiful, she is,” Aaron says. “Oh, here’s one of Vic and Adam.”

The soft, sad look on Robert’s face hurts to see, and Aaron wonders if he made a mistake. He has other pictures of Victoria and of her and Adam, but he’d thought it was important Robert see this one.

Clearing his throat, Robert half-smiles. “She made a beautiful bride. Got anymore pictures?”

Squeezing his arm, Aaron changes the screen. “Here’s my mum and Marlon.” And, “This one is Paddy helping- Leo has Down’s syndrome. This is them. Here’s one of Liv and her best mate, Gabby, on Gabby’s birthday. You can actually tell Basil’s a turtle in this one.” On the last one, he hesitates. “He’s not really in focus, but Andy’s in the background of this one.”

Thankfully, Robert is too focused on his brother to ask questions.

Someone, he doesn’t even remember who, had grabbed Aaron’s mobile, or maybe one of them had asked someone to take the picture. It happened before Jackson started talking about dying (Aaron always wonders, if he’d never listened to the video diaries, or if he’d just kept quiet about them…), and for those few hours in the pub, Jackson had seemed genuinely at peace and happy. Aaron’s debated deleting the photo hundreds of times, of getting rid of the evidence he was stupidly happy and oblivious to the show his boyfriend was putting on, but Hazel’s in it, and he knows without a doubt she was genuinely happy when the light flashed and captured the three of them.

“Do you know what Vic and Andy are giving Liv?”

“What?”

“For her presents.”

He groans. “I imagine you probably have more family loyalty than you think, mate. Andy’s not invited.”

“I’m sure you or your sister have a good reason,” Robert says with a shrug. Sounding more curious, he continues, “Why? What’d he do?”

Aaron tells him.

Robert frowns. “I can’t believe- I mean, I believe you, I just find it hard to believe- Jack and Sarah, my niece and nephew, what about them?”

“They’re fine,” Aaron quickly assures him. “Adam and Victoria are always doing stuff with them, and Katie is a great stepmum. He never hurt them, and everyone always goes on about how good a dad he is.”

“Besides,” he adds, “it’s been pointed out I don’t have much room to talk. When I was seventeen, I punched Liv’s mum, Sandra. And me using my fists didn’t stop there.”

“Yeah, but you’re in charge of Liv’s care,” Robert says. “You have a right to say who is and isn’t around her.”

He says it as if this is obvious, and Aaron feels the breath leave him.

“Besides, gay, confused teenager with a clever, abusive dad and a mum who left you lashing out, that’s different from a grown, married man.”   

Sometimes, Aaron is afraid Liv is just going to disappear someday, and some days, it feels like everyone is judging him and waiting for him to mess up. Most of the time, he tends to think he’s just doing some extending babysitting, because, it’s easier and makes his fears about her disappearing easier, and when he does realise, no, Liv could be around until she’s eighteen or older, he panics.

Here, though, Robert says it so easily. _You have a kid, you’re taking care of your kid sister, and even though you’ve made mistakes and done outright terrible things, you still have the right to take care of her and make decisions about her that others don’t like sometimes._

Everything is warm inside, and his heart is steadily pounding inside his chest.

He kisses Robert, it deepens-

And the book hits the floor.

The laughter ends when Robert catches his eyes, and Aaron doesn’t accept books costing more than he could buy a week’s worth of groceries on, but he’s gotten better at learning and accepting when he’s lost.

“Alright,” he sighs. “But if we’re still doing this next year, either you bring a receipt, or you don’t get my sister anything.”

Robert smirks, does a half-nod, and pulls Aaron back.

…

When Aaron gets back, his mum tells him Sandra’s arrived.

“She’s staying in town, at the inn, I did offer her-”

“Mum, it’s fine." He kisses her cheek. “Liv’s out with her?”

She nods. “They’re having a girl’s day. Hopefully, they won’t have another row.”

God, he hopes so, too.

…

“Would you like me to come over in the morning, sweetheart, and take you to school,” Sandra asks with painful hope in her voice.

“Yeah, sure,” Liv answers. “Chas was going to make cheese-and-tomato oatmeal, but if you don’t have enough to buy breakfast, she can-”

“The inn has free breakfast,” Sandra quickly tells her.

She says it so quickly, Aaron knows he’s either going to have to bully her into taking some money or make sure there’s toast and eggs in the morning.

“Okay, then. I’ll see you in the morning. I love you, baby.”

Liv hugs her. “Love you, too, Mum. I’m glad you could come a little early.”

...

When they get to the inn, he parks the car.

Before he can say anything, she does. “They really do have free breakfast, love. It’s- when Liv was little, she loved oatmeal-chocolate biscuits, and it got to a point where I just couldn’t afford to make them, and store-bought was even more expensive, but I’ve got the stuff to make her a batch, and Paddy’s being kind enough to let me use his kitchen. I’ve also bought a package, just in case, but her mentioning oatmeal, it just- I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

Carefully, he touches her hand.

Wrapping her fingers around his hand, she takes a few steadying breathes.

“About the party,” he says. “Um, I know you’re getting her that smartphone, but I was wondering, what if we did a joint present?”

“A joint present?”

“I have a mate from out-of-town, and he got me a good deal." In the backseat, under a pile of coats, he digs the bag out and slides the book out.

Taking it in, she gasps, “Oh, Liv will love that.”

Smiling, he nods. “So, you could wrap it, and keep with it you, yeah? And maybe make the card, too? She won’t know which one to hug first, will she?”

He can feel her happiness fading even before her smile does, and she sighs. “I’ll wrap it, keep it, and make the card, love, but this is your present. I can’t afford-”

“Neither could I,” he says. “I was just lucky enough to have a mate who likes Sherlock Holmes, too. Look, Sandra- she’s mine. Okay? Liv is mine. She has my blood, and having her around has completely changed my life. But she was yours, first, and I could never stop her from being that. I don’t want to. Because of her, me and you are family. I swear to you, I’m not- Maybe, next year, we can find a present together. But for now, I’d really like it if we could give this to her together.”

“O-okay,” she softly agrees.

He squeezes her hand.

…

Liv wears a sparkly jumper and pale blue leggings on Saturday (along with the necklace, but Aaron’s mostly trained his eyes to gloss over it), and part of Aaron sees the kid she is, and part of him realises, _God, she’s growing fast_.

He feels a new surge of hatred for Gordon.

Liv should have a proper mum and dad. She should have grown up both slower and faster than this. She should have been able to have chocolate-oatmeal biscuits whenever she wanted them, a dad to help tuck her in at night, and so many other things.

He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly focusing on it, but she doesn’t even properly have a name to claim. Flaherty is the maiden name of Sandra’s great-grandmum. Some kids don’t have their dad’s name, and some are stuck with them, but she doesn’t even have her mum’s name. It was taken away when she was too little to really understand it was happening, before she was old enough to decide to if she wanted it or wanted to rename herself.

If his dad had been an actual dad, he wonders how he would turned out and if he and her would be as close.

“Any other presents?”

His mum’s voice and her pointed look nudge him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah,” he says.

Liv looks at him with confused, excited eyes.

Producing the book, he and kneels down. “Sandra,” he motions her over, and taking her hand, he says, “This is from me and your mum, both. It’s something you sort of already have, but- here.”

She opens it, and this time, she does knock him over with her hug.

Kissing her head, he says, “This mostly comes down to your mum, eh?”

Suddenly, Liv is fiercely hugging Sandra. “Thank you, Mummy, this is the best. Thank you so much!”

Sandra is crying, but she’s also laughing and giving him such a soft look, for once, he isn’t terrified.

…

During the summer, he makes plans to meet Robert for the weekend but hesitates on the night he’s supposed to leave.

“I don’t have to go,” he tells Liv. “Me and you could-”

“Aaron, I love you, and I love spending time with you, but me and Gabby are having a girl’s weekend. No alcohol or ciggies, I promise, but we’re wearing makeup and high heels and dancing.”

“You hate makeup, you wrote a paper on how evil high heels are, and I don’t care about the dancing, but you’re to be home by ten every night, and if anyone tries anything, swear to me you’ll call or tell one of our mums or find some adult you can trust, alright?”

Looking up from the puzzle she and Basil are working on (mostly, Basil will occasionally nibble on a puzzle piece), Liv says, “Swear. And the rest- I thought I should just try it, at least. If I still don’t like it, I won’t after a few days.”

He nods.

“Now, go. Have fun with your mate.”

Leaning down, he kisses her. “I love ya.”

“I love you, too.”

…

For all he’s come to rely on memories and fantasies of Robert during his time in the shower or lying in bed at night, part of him always forgets how good it is with Robert until they meet again.

Worse, Robert seems to know this, and he always has this annoying smirk on his face.

Taking another long sip of beer, Aaron hands one over to where Robert is still lying stretched out on the bed.

Robert makes a complaining sound when Aaron sits on the edge of the bed.

“It’s too hot,” Aaron says.

“It wouldn’t be if you weren’t so overdressed,” Robert grumbles.

Aaron’s wearing pants and his t-shirt, and he sometimes wonders when Robert is finally going to get fed up.

Occasionally, he finds himself thinking, _I could be anyone, couldn’t I?_

“How’s work,” he asks.

“If I rigged the jury properly, I could get away with murdering Lawrence,” Robert answers. “But I’m not sure I could escape Lachlan, creepy little bugger he is, and I definitely couldn’t escape Chrissie. That Samson deal I told you about? Well, he got his way.”

Robert restarts his presentation on how going with Roy Samson would be greatly beneficial to White Industries.

When they’re together, Robert talks about business, about how much he hates Lawrence, and occasionally, about his worry for or pride in Chrissie. They talk football or American soccer, and Robert never seems to mind hearing about Liv or work in the garage. His eyes light up whenever Aaron tells him absolutely anything about Victoria, Jack, Sarah, or Diane.

Otherwise, though, even when they talk loads, Robert doesn’t really say much. Aaron knows Robert likes to read and is well-versed in pop culture, but what specifically Robert likes and what offends him is still a mystery. Robert knows about cars (even if he’s a daft idiot who still insists Japanese are the best), but what kind he dreamed about as a kid, what made him choose the sports car he currently drives, any of this, Aaron doesn’t know. Aside from obviously missing Vic and having complicated feelings towards Andy, Aaron doesn’t know what Robert thinks about Robert’s own past and his strained to the point of non-existence relationship with his family.

He remembers, there was a time when Robert did slip causal bits about himself in their conversations, but Aaron doesn’t know when it stopped. Sometimes, he wonders if he did something wrong to make Robert stop.

Robert sets his beer down, crawls over, and asks with a smirk, “Still too hot?”

Once the kissing starts, it won’t be.  

Setting his bottle aside, he kisses Robert and pushes so Robert’s lying back down on the bed. Leaving Robert’s mouth, he threads one hand through Robert’s hair and starts kissing, licking, and biting down Robert’s body.

There’s one spot near Robert’s ribs Aaron likes to rub his beard against. Robert always tenses, hisses, and grinds his body up, down, and sideways. The first time Aaron did it, he’d thought the reaction was discomfort or simple dislike, but Robert had grabbed his face, looked at him with wide, shiny bright eyes, and demanded, ‘Again.’

Not willing to take his mouth away from Robert’s skin, Aaron reaches towards the nightstand and tries to feel out the condoms without looking. He’s been meaning to broach the subject of them both getting tested and not having to use condoms for everything, but given how awkward he feels just thinking about it, he knows he probably never will.

He only got to be with Jackson without a few times, and one of the ways his time with Ed will always be special is the fact Aaron got to experience all of it without with him.

A condom’s in his hand, and his mouth is so close to being just where he wants it.

Ringing fills the air, and he curses loudly, but it’s his mum’s ringtone, and he knows she really wouldn’t call unless it were serious.

Vaguely, he notes Robert doesn’t protest when he scrambles to get it.

“Mum,” he greets, and his voice is too rough, exasperated, and obvious for him not to cringe.

“Love, don’t panic. Promise me you won’t panic.”

“Why would I- Mum, tell me why you’re calling. Now!”

“Liv has appendicitis, sweetheart. We’ve taken her to A&E, the doctor says…”

Trying to get his trousers on and wondering where in the hell his keys are, Aaron asks, “The one in town?”

“Yes. Baby, I promise, she’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah, of course she is, she’s a Dingle,” he mutters. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. If- can people still watch surgeries? Never mind, I’ll call Adam. Talk to you, later-”

“Aaron, Adam’s here. Sweetheart, promise me-”

“I’ve got to find my keys. Love you, Mum.”

Hanging up, he tells Robert, “Appendicitis, Liv, I’ve got to-”

Robert is waving his keys.

When he tries to grab them, however, Robert pockets them and shoves a bottle of water and crackers into his hands. “Sit down. I’ll-”

“Robert, I swear if-”

“You’ve been drinking,” Robert cuts in. “We both have. One of the best scenarios is you’re pulled over, and you manage to eventually get to your sister with a caution or worse. The worst is you get hurt or hurt someone else. Aaron, I swear, I will get you to your sister. Just sit down, and drink the water. The crackers- I don’t know if it’s one of those myths or not, but they can’t hurt.”

Robert grabs his own mobile, and Aaron sees, aside from Robert’s belt, Robert is completely dressed.

As Robert talks, Aaron spots the belt and gets it.

Recently, Liv had a tummy ache. He hadn’t thought anything about it, he’d just gone to get some ginger ale and let her hole up in her room. What if it had been an early sign? What if this could have been prevented?

…

In a cab or Uber or something, Robert insists on Aaron drinking fizzy water and having more crackers.

…

They get to A&E, and digging out his wallet and finding his I.D., he tells the person at the desk, “I’m Aaron Livesy, my little sister, Olivia Flaherty, was brought in by my mum, Chas Dingle.”

He realises how this might sound and wishes, at least, two of them had the same surname, and fear grips him, because, Sandra signed papers at school telling them he got to make decisions for Liv, but he has none of those papers with him, and Sandra likely hasn’t been able to leave Ireland, yet, and they might not listen to her over the phone.

“Love!”

He turns to see his mum coming over.

Breathing out, he hugs her. “Liv?”

“Gabby and Adam are keeping her company. Sweetheart, she’s refusing to go into theatre until her mum gets here, but it’s going to take Sandra- Are you Robert Sugden?”

Beside him, Robert gives an unhappy nod and offers his hand. “Uh, yeah. Nice to see you, again, Ms Dingle.”

The handshake is brief, and his mum stares. “You never-”

“I didn’t know. At first. Look, Liv’s the most important thing. Where is she, and what do you mean she’s refusing?”

Taking his arm, she says, “She’s terrified, love, but trying not to show it.”

He reckons this is better than what he’s doing.

In the car, he’d started scratching at his arm. He hadn’t realised he was doing it until Robert had stilled his wrist, gently moved his hand away, and guided his fingers to the loose wrapper on one of the bottles of water. ‘ _Appendicitis is common, Aaron, and easily treated. A tough kid like her, she’ll be back running around with her mate in no time. Try taking a deep breath for me, okay? You’ll see her soon._ ’

Thanks to Robert, he’s no longer shaking, but his stomach is threatening to empty itself.

In the room, Adam squeezes his neck, and some of Aaron inwardly settles.

On the bed, Liv is wearing makeup and has her favourite dress laid on the foot.

“If I die, I’m wearing this. And Gabby needs to recheck my makeup.”

“Liv,” he breathes out. “No, hey, you’re not going to die.”

“He’s right,” Gabby says, “but don’t worry, your makeup looks fab.”

“Because you did it,” Liv says. She winces. “I want my mum. I can’t go without her here.”

“Poppet, you know that your mum told you-” His mum starts.

“I’m not going!”

Aaron knows he absolutely cannot yell. “Let’s talk about this, yeah?”

“That sounds good,” Adam agrees. Walking over, he tugs Gabby out of the chair and grabs the dress. “Come on. Let’s let them talk.”

Pushing her out, he hugs Aaron. “I’ll be near, mate. Promise.”

Squeezing Adam’s hand, he nods. “Thanks.” Sitting down, he says, “Okay. Liv. I know this is scary-”

“Mum won’t make me. I’ve read about it, and they could just give me antibiotics, but they want to cut me. I don’t want a scar. I’ve never had one.”

He cannot yell.

“Liv, this is-” He looks at his mum. “Where’s the doctor? Maybe- Liv, it’ll be tiny- surgery is-”

He cannot yell, cry, or bang any part of his body against something hard.

There’s a knock.

Looking unsure, Robert holds up three cups. “Hi. I’m Robert, a mate of Aaron’s. Sorry I didn’t bring you anything, but I thought your brother and- would like something.” He hands a cup to Aaron and Aaron’s mum.

Gratefully taking a sip, Aaron sighs when he tastes strong coffee with just a hint of sugar.

“How’d you know how I liked my brew,” his mum demands.

“Aaron told me.”

I mentioned it in passing, once, he’s tempted to say.

Then, he realises Liv is being quiet, and he turns back to her. “Liv, you’ve got-”

“No."

His mum turns to Robert. “Sorry, could you just stay here for a minute or two? I need to use the toilets, but I don’t want to leave them alone.”

Humiliated, Aaron starts to snap, “I don’t-”

Moving aside, Robert answers, “No problem.”

His mum hurries out.

No yelling, no crying, and no self-harm, he reminds himself.

“It okay if I sit down,” Robert asks.

Nodding, Liv pats the bed. “I’m not having surgery. She’s afraid I’ll do a runner. I once outran Aaron, you know.”

He supposes this is better than, _My big brother is a head case who his mum is afraid he’ll do something stupid and selfish if she leaves him alone for five minutes._

“Right. Well, I’m mainly just here for Aaron,” Robert says. “I won’t talk down to you. Promise. So, could me and you talk about why you’re not in theatre?”

“Antibiotics might work, they’re safer than surgery, if you’re allergic, they can use do something to fix it, and then, I won’t have a scar.”

“I’ve read about some hospitals taking a wait and see approach with antibiotics, but so far, that’s mostly in rare case when it’s caught very early. You’re in pain, aren’t you?”

“Not too much,” Liv grumbles. “If they’d just give me some pain relief and antibiotics, I’d be fine.”

“You know, I’ve had surgery,” Robert says.

“You had appendix troubles, too?”

“No. A few years ago, someone broke into my office late at night and shot me. I was in a coma for almost a fortnight."

 _Right near the heart_ , Aaron realises in horror.

Liv, though, looks at Robert with wide eyes. “Really? Can I see the scar?”

Robert looks at him, and numbly, Aaron nods.

When Robert undoes his top buttons and pulls his shirt aside to reveal it, Liv reaches over, and she’s touching it before Aaron can stop her. “It- I can hardly even feel it,” she says in wonder. “Or see it.”

“Yeah,” Robert says. “Have you ever heard of a show called Penny Dreadful?”

Liv nods. “I just started the third series.”

“Well, I won’t spoil it for you, then, but there’s a line later on that’s stuck with me since I heard it. ‘There are scars that make us who we are, but without them, we don’t exist.’ It’s obvious you’re scared, and that’s not a weakness. Any sane person would be. But you know what? Let’s talk about your big brother for a minute, okay?”

“Can-” Aaron starts.

Looking over, Liv sternly orders, “Quiet, you.” She turns back to Robert. “Alright.”

“He comes across as pretty tough, doesn’t he? From what I’ve seen, he _is_ a tough lad.”

“He is,” Liv agrees. “He’s one of the strongest, bravest people I know.”

“And I’m not denying that, but let me tell you something he doesn’t want you to know, but you need to: He’s completely bricking it. However scared you are, whatever you’re afraid will happen, it’s worse for him. Maybe not consciously, but some part of him is thinking, ‘What if my baby sister dies? What if there are complications? Is there any way I can make things better without letting someone I don’t know take a knife to her skin?’"

Aaron jumps up to make Robert leave, but Liv tosses a pillow at his face before he can say anything or make another move.

Still sounding too flipping calm, Robert continues, “But the thing is, he also knows this is your best chance. Antibiotics and the wait-and-see approach haven’t been tested enough on other people to determine it’s the better option, but I can look up appendectomy stats, if you want, and you’ll see that it’s a very common, safe procedure. Despite how terrified he is, despite how much he doesn’t want this, he knows it’s the best way to get you healthy and out-of-pain. He’s willing to sit in the waiting room, knowing all this is happening, and wait for his little sister to come back to him. He doesn’t care if you have a small scar. He doesn’t care if you look like Deadpool. He just wants you as healthy and safe as possible. Could you be the person who did what her big brother needed her to do?”

Liv takes a shaky breath, reaches out for Aaron’s hand, and says, “Okay. Call the doctor. Stay with me for as long as you can.”

“Of course,” he promises. Sitting down, he hits the call button and kisses her head. “Do you want to try calling your mum again?”

“No." She shakes her head. “I can hear her trying not to cry.” Looking over, she asks, “What about you? If you were with someone, what would you think if they had scars? Like, more than one?”

The sinking feeling Liv might know or suspect Robert is more than a mate creeps through him. “Liv,” he warns.

Robert, however, just shrugs. “That they had scars. Anyone who says looks don’t matter at all is lying, but most people, when they get older, they learn to appreciate people beyond that. If you’re with someone properly, you don’t get to just say, ‘I’ll take the good and uncomplicated parts and ignore the bad or complicated.”

A doctor, nurse, and his mum show up, and he feels his heart clenching when he looks down at Liv lying on the bed with the nursing shooting medicine in her IV. She looks so tiny and frail. Even in his memories of her as a baby, she was roly-poly with big, red cheeks and clear eyes. She screamed more than she ever cried, and she waved her arms and legs around, and once she got crawling and moving, she never seemed to stop.

Now, she’ll veg out on the couch or in her room, but there’s always been clear strength in her posture.

His mum squeezes his hand.

“Sleepy,” Liv mutters through a yawn.

Kneeling down on the floor next to the cot, he carefully touches her forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise. I love you, Liv.”

“Take care of Basil and Jane, first.”

“I will do.”

“’luv, too,” she answers.

His mum helps him stand up, the doctor and nurse give him more assurances he doesn’t really listen to, and he watches as his little sister is wheeled out.

He knows she’ll be walking soon, he knows she’s going to live a long, healthy, hopefully, happy life, but in some ways, this is even worse than it was with Jackson.

…

Liv comes out okay.

She’s sleeping when he hears a quiet, “Hey.”

Rubbing his eyes, he looks up. His mum has gone to feed Basil and Jane, and Adam’s gone to give Vic an update. She’s visiting a mate out of town, and thankfully, Adam had convinced her not to rush back.

Robert’s standing in the doorway. Coming in, he hands Aaron a set of keys, and abruptly, Aaron realises they’re his.

“I found this radio station playing nothing but Taylor Swift, and you can’t prove that large stain of blood in the backseat wasn’t there before you left, but otherwise, it’s completely fine. I parked it as near the door I could.”

“You- brought my car back.”

Robert had gotten a ride back, and then, drove Aaron’s car back, and he’ll have to get another ride back, making it three or four trips in one day.

“Yeah,” Robert agrees. Looking around, he leans down and presses a quick kiss against Aaron’s lips. “If she’s out by tomorrow, call me, yeah? I’m going to kip in the inn tonight. Probably head back tomorrow, but maybe we could get breakfast or something.”

Running a gentle hand through Liv's hair, he starts to leave.

Making a decision, Aaron goes over, grabs his wrist, and pulls him out into a corner of the empty hallway. “Wait.” Quickly, before he can change his mind, he lifts up his shirt.

Robert’s face is mostly curious. There’s no trace of disgust or pity Aaron can see.

Quick, almost too-soft to feel fingers trace one of the scars.

He tugs his shirt back down. “I promised Liv I wouldn’t stay here all night, and if I go home, Mum will just remind me of all of this by trying to comfort me. If you aren’t too tired, I could join you at the inn?”

Grinning, Robert answers, “I’d like that.”

…

They’re both nursing a beer.

This wasn’t what Aaron had in mind.

“Did your ex-boyfriend mind?”

Jumping, Aaron looks over and shakes his head. “It was before me and him met. I- I did this to myself. Self-harm. I’m not getting into all that tonight. And Ed knew, but he’s a rugby player. He has scars, too. All his teammates and most of his regular mates do, too. So, even though he knew, in some ways, it wasn’t that different to him. Not a big deal.”

Aaron will always love Ed, and sometimes, he finds himself desperately wishing he could have fallen in love with him. He made Aaron happy, he would have been great with Liv, and Aaron made him happy, too.

Except, Aaron saw the way other blokes looked at him and the way some of them flirted.

Ed was loyal.

Eventually, though, Aaron couldn’t help but wonder if maybe one of those men Ed never did more than smile at and have a pint with could make Ed happier than he could. He wondered if they could love him the way Aaron loved Jackson.

Setting his beer down, Robert comes over.

After a few seconds, Aaron stands.

Robert pulls Aaron’s shirt off, and Aaron resists the urge to look away. To immediately grab it and slip it back on.

Slipping his own shirt off and tossing it aside, Robert puts his hands on Aaron’s cheeks and kisses him.

Through the kiss, Aaron feels Robert’s hand at his waistband.

…

Lying on the bed completely starkers with Robert looking down at him-

In some ways, this is even scarier than his first time with Jackson.

Victoria pops into his mind, but he firmly pushes those thoughts away.

Robert traces the scars, and his touch is slow but sure. It’s not rough, but it’s not soft, either.

When he leans down and kisses one, though, heat shoots through Aaron, and he’s not sure what he means to do, but he starts to move his hands down towards Robert.

In response, Robert grabs his wrists with one hand and brings them up over his head, and- _oh_.

If someone told Aaron he’d like something like this, he’d have called the person mental and possibly threatened them or worse, but as Robert continues licking and kissing the scars while pinning Aaron’s wrists, Aaron discovers how much he does like it.

At one point, Robert looks up. “Alright?”

“Alright,” Aaron echoes.

 …

Through the warm, buzzing feeling, Aaron traces Robert’s scar. “Just a stupid accident, huh?”

“Well,” Robert shrugs, “I left the door unlocked. I usually locked it. Going by that, with some stretching, the definition of ‘accident’ could apply.”

Shaking his head, Aaron kisses and wraps around him.

Robert’s hand wraps around one of Aaron’s arms.

…

After Liv’s completely healed, Aaron takes her to a theme park, and when she sees a large, stuffed giraffe, she insists on spending her own money until she manages to win it.

“Here,” she says. “For when talking to your boyfriend isn’t enough. You can snuggle with him. Less likely to make me vom, anyways.”

He carefully adjusts the large giraffe in his arms. “Liv, Robert isn’t my boyfriend. But thank you for winning this for me. I reckon, as little sisters go, you can be alright.”

“I’m the best thing that ever happened to you,” she declares. “And I’m fifteen. I know what sex is, Aaron. I know what you do when you spend hours alone with him. Well, I mean, I have a general idea.”

“Ugh,” he groans.

“Do you really want to be blatant to your teenage sister that you’re just-”

“I’ll buy you some ice-cream, if you promise to shut up.”

“You were going to buy me ice-cream, anyways,” she points out.

Thankfully, though, she does drop the subject of Robert.

…

When they get home, Liv immediately crashes out.

Aaron calls Robert.

“Hey,” Robert greets.

“Hey."

“Since I haven’t heard anything about any fairs being blown up or any vendors being taken hostage, I’m assuming everything went well?”

“Yeah." He glances over at the giant giraffe. “Liv had a great time. Almost wish you could have been here. How’s things on your end?”

“I’ve decided I’m done saying it. I’m literally going to kill Lawrence. It’s for the best.”

At least, it isn’t that Jacob bloke, he thinks. He swears, one of these days, Robert is going to do something stupid. “You know that, if you go to prison, we’re not going to be able to meet next month.”

“You make a compelling point,” Robert says. “Although, I think I might be offended by your belief I couldn’t do it without getting caught.”

“Robert,” he says in exasperation. “With how much of a secret it isn’t that you don’t like him, you’d be one of the top suspects.”

“He didn’t like me first,” is the petulant reply.

Aaron laughs, but mixed with his amusement and irritation, he does feel a certain amount of sympathy, too.

Robert is brilliant and has established himself enough he could go anywhere, but he insists on staying in the company his ex-father-in-law is constantly trying to drive him out of. Worse, Aaron has a sinking feeling this has less to do with Robert’s pride and more to do with the fact it ensures he always has some level of contact with Chrissie.

Even with this, though, “Yeah, but the truth is, you’ve always respected him, innit? Still do, and back then, you honestly liked him.”

“Changing the subject,” Robert declares. “Aside from my potential plans to murder Lawrence, today was good. Jacob wasn’t around to mess anything up, and before you ask, no, I’m not responsible. I wouldn’t give a ten-year-old the measles just to get his out his uncle out of my hair. No, that’s down to his, Jacob’s, whole adult family being as worthless as he is. Anyway, remember Ellie?”

“The pregnant bird from Graphics?”

“Not anymore.”

Settling onto his bed, Aaron asks, “She had the baby, then?”

“This morning. She texted at…”

…

In the morning, his mobile is almost dead, and he has a painful, red imprint on his cheek.

“Love, you’ve got to stop falling asleep with your phone on,” his mum scolds.

Nodding, he yawns and attacks his cereal.

“How’s Robert doing?”

“Good. One of his co-workers just had a baby, and he’ll probably be too busy hunting down essential audio-books for her to play for the baby at night to spend too much time arguing with Lawrence or carry on his feud with this bloke from Legal.”

“Right. Audiobooks? Why is-”

“Mum, if you want an answer to that, call Robert. Just don’t do it when you have anywhere you need to be for the next few hours.”

Laughing, she kisses his cheek. “It’s good to see you smiling so much, baby.”

…

The week before Aaron’s set to meet Robert, Liv refuses to do her homework.

He tells his mum to stay out of it, and sitting down, he asks, “Is this some big moral stand?”

“What do you care?”

“Because, I worry about your future. You know, your mum was different when she was with our dad. Stricter. But for a time, I secretly appreciated that.”

“Good for you,” she sarcastically snaps.

He rubs his temples. “You’re fifteen, Liv. I remember when I was little, I always had these big thoughts about people not being punished. Don’t know where they came from, to be honest, and as I got older and angrier, I’d be the first to punish anyone who I thought did wrong. But, y’know, maybe I was onto something.”

Reaching over, he wraps an arm around her. “As long as I’m alive and able, you’re going to have a place to live and food to eat. No matter what. But I think you’re going to hate having to always rely on your big brother when you’re a proper grownup and Gabby and all your classmates are building actual lives, and talking as someone who didn’t finish college and never went to university, if it weren’t for Cain, me mum, and Paddy, things would be much harder for me. You want to have work long hours in the pub, trying to claw your way out?”

She doesn’t answer.

“I’m not going to punish you. You need to start making your own decisions about your future and dealing with the consequences. Now, if you have a real reason for not doing your homework, like you refusing to do that project in English last year, I’ll stand beside and fight with you like I did then. But if you don’t, I’m not going to argue with your teacher, trying to save your grade.”

She nuzzles closer to him.

He waits.

“I didn’t have a good reason,” she mutters. “But what if you help me this one time, and I promise, in the future, unless there’s a good reason, I’ll try to do all my homework and have it handed in on time?”

“Alright,” he agrees. “But this one time only. From now on, you slack off, you deal with it on your own. Just because I’m not going to punish you, it doesn’t mean I’m going to save you from the consequences when you deserve them.”

She nods.

…

Thankfully, everything is sorted with Liv’s teacher by the time he and Robert agreed to meet.

He gets to the hotel first, checks in, and opens a beer.

When Robert comes in, Aaron feels his heart react, and he knows this feeling.

They’ve gotten so they talk every day, but he wants more. He wants to be able to kiss Robert every day, have dinner with him every night, feel Robert’s arms around him when they fall asleep, and occasionally wake up from Robert’s kicks hitting somewhere other than the one spot on his own leg that’s become desensitised to them.

Robert can be petty and start things with co-workers, and one of these days, it’s going to come back and bite him, and Aaron wants to be there when it does. The bullet wound is terribly itchy when the weather suddenly changes, and Robert always just roughly slaps some anti-itching cream on, but Aaron’s figured out the right amount to use, and he might not be exactly gentle, but Robert’s less grumpy and prone to scratching at his chest when Aaron does it instead.

He’d promised Jackson, Ed, Paddy, and even, to a certain extent, Hazel (though, he’s never going to be completely okay with the idea of her someday meeting someone else he’s involved with) he wouldn’t run from love if he found it again, and he’s not going to run, but part of him is scared and uncertain.    

“Get your kit off,” Robert demands right before his lips find the spot behind Aaron’s ear.

“Wait, can we just talk, first?” Aaron gasps out. He tries to move away.

Pulling him back, Robert protests, “It’s been over a month. Come on, we have a whole weekend to talk. Right now-”

Yeah, we have _do_ have a whole weekend, he realises. It couldn’t hurt to try mentally preparing the words when his whole body isn’t screaming at him to get his kit off, get Robert’s kit off, and finally ease the aching tension he’s been having to stave off in the shower for over a month.

…

“Worth the wait?”

Making a face, Aaron teases, “Eh, I suppose so.” He pulls Robert into another kiss.

 _Tell him, now_ , goes through his head, but along with it is the unwelcome but persistent sense of, _You’re going to break my heart, aren’t you?_

“Well, let’s see how good your stamina is,” Robert says through the kisses. “I’ve been doing oral presentations all week, looking at men and women in drab suits and wishing I could be giving an entirely different sort to you.”

“If you want me to change into a suit-” He offers with a groan.

“Nah,” Robert says. “No denying you look good in them, but this,” he runs his hand over Aaron’s chest and stomach, “this works so much better for me.”

…

Aaron supposes it’s something along the lines of karma when his stamina has kicked fully in, Robert is inches away, and Robert’s mobile rings.

“Sorry,” Robert winces.

“It’s fine, mate,” he manages.

Certain parts of his body make their disagreement known.

“Hello? Chrissie, look, I’m- Oh, is he okay? Yeah, look, Chrissie, I’m sorry Lachlan had that happen, but-”

Aaron watches Robert tense.

“Lawrence did what? What in the hell is-” Robert takes a deep breath, and numbness settles when Aaron watches him start quickly getting dressed. “Never mind. What about you and Lachlan, babe? Are you both alright?”

Robert usually puts on all his clothes before he does his belt, but shirtless and socked but shoeless, he slides the belt through the loops. “Don’t worry. Chrissie, listen to me: I’m going to fix this, baby. Okay? I’ll handle this. Just get Lachlan, get some ice, and I’ll meet you in ten minutes. I don’t want you involved anymore than you already are. I’m going to take care of everything, I promise.”

Finishing buttoning his shirt, he turns, and in a weary voice, he says, “I’m sorry.”

Nodding, Aaron fully sits up. “What’s going on?”

“Lawrence is messing up Lachlan’s life. Not that that kid isn’t already completely messed up, but the last thing he needs is his grandfather- Christ, he’s only sixteen, why in the hell is Lawrence doing this to his own grandson? Never mind what this is doing to Chrissie. His daughter.”

“What’s he done?”

Finding his watch, Roberts slips it and his shoes on. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.”

He leans down, kisses Aaron, and is out the door.

…

Aaron is getting some snacks from the vending machine when he sees Robert walk into the lobby with a teenage moppet wearing a strange hat.

He feels a surge of pity, however, when he notices the boy has a black eye.

Moving closer, he hears, “Look, why don’t you go get some ice and something to drink, and I'll find us a room, eh? We’ll order room service, and you can watch whatever you want on the telly. Okay, buddy?”

The boy grunts and might have mumbled something before taking the money Robert offered and trailing off.

Seeing him, Robert gives Aaron a tired smile. “You have no idea how sorry I am to do this, but uh, we can’t stay in the suite. I’ll pay for you another room. I’ve got to get one with two beds and, hopefully, a large bathroom with thick walls.”

Robert looks so thrilled, Aaron’s half-afraid Robert might end up with another bullet in his body courtesy of Robert himself.

“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ll get a room myself. You’re **not** paying for it. And as for him, see if you can get an adjoining room, yeah?”

A genuine half-smile appears, and Robert softly laughs. “God, you’re brilliant.” Sobering, he says, “Thank you for all this. I really am sorry.”

“Maybe we can get dinner, later, if you can get away." Clasping Robert’s shoulder, he says, “I’m going to go get my stuff.”

…

At the restaurant, Aaron asks, “You sure this is alright?”

“I’ve tipped every employee I could find to watch the exits and entrance, but frankly, that might have been overkill. Lachlan doesn’t have any friends, and I’ve left a sixteen-year-old boy in a hotel room with a TV, his laptop, and assurance my tab will cover him ordering more room service.”

“I’m assuming Lawrence wasn’t responsible for the black eye. So, what did he do this time?”

“No, Lawrence would never hurt Lachlan,” Robert says. “And-” He sighs. “For once, I was wrong. Chrissie’s been dating this deadbeat, and I thought Lawrence was encouraging it. It turns out, he’s rightly been against it from the start. Today, he and the man came to blows, and I’ll probably never say this again, but being a good lad, Lachlan took exception to his granddad being hurt and stepped in.”

Aaron has a sinking feeling in his stomach. “You or you and Lawrence aren’t going to do anything stupid, are you? Because I don’t care how smart and cocky you are, you really can’t go along hurting people or making them disappear and not get caught.”

Robert shrugs.

“Robert!”

“Lachlan has a black eye, Aaron. He was my stepson. More than that, he’s a sixteen-year-old kid. And for all my problems with Lawrence, he’s an older man with medical issues who just wants to protect his daughter and grandchild. A young, able-bodied man who’d attack the latter and end up hurting the former in the process, what’s to say he wouldn’t go after Chrissie? Look, you’re not involved. I wouldn’t want you to be. But I’m going to look after my ex-wife and her family the best way I see fit.”

Taking a deep breath, Aaron quietly says, “Fine. Fair enough.”

They order.

He asks,“Do you think, maybe, you could come to my room tonight?"

“I wish I could. Chrissie’s going to drop by. The house also suffered during the fight. She doesn’t want Lachlan back until everything’s cleaned up, and Lawrence doesn’t want her trying to clean it herself. For once, I’m actually the preferable option to him.”

And I had to suggest adjourning rooms, he thinks in irritated self-disgust. Right. Of course. Chrissie and Robert in one room, their kid in the other, Grandpa taking care of their home.

Just blurt it out, he tells himself. Just reach over, take his hand, and tell him. Just do something so you don’t lose him, because, you are, you know you are.

“Robert-”

Robert’s phone beeps, and looking at it, he curses and digs out his wallet. “If you can, cancel my order. Chrissie’s arrived early. God, she’s going to kill me for leaving Lachlan alone.”

Then, there’s money on the table, and Robert’s gone.

…

In the morning, Robert texts him, and they meet in a park near the hotel.

When they sit on the bench, Aaron puts a hand on Robert’s arm and moves to kiss him, but Robert turns his head slightly. “We- need to talk.”

Aaron reminds himself he is a responsible adult with a little sister he needs to be around to take care of and set a good example for. Then, he reminds himself all the ways responsible adults don’t handle things.

“Chrissie and I are going to give it another go.”

“Robert, I lo-”

“Don’t,” Robert says. “Please, don’t. I know you and I got more serious than we originally intended, but I still love Chrissie. I always will.”

“Does she know about me?”

“She knows I’ve been seeing someone. But I told her it was over.”

“But not a man.”

Robert groans. “Don’t make it about that.”

“Sorry, mate, I just can’t help but think, if it were a case of you and a bird, you might be more willing to give it a chance instead of running back to your ex-wife.”

Quietly, Robert says, “I met Chrissie first. We were married. You want to attack me, go ahead, but don’t- I’m not running back to her. We reconnected, and we want to see if we can make a proper go this time. People do that occasionally.”

“Yeah, they do,” he acknowledges. “That doesn’t make me wrong.”

Robert looks up for a long moment. “You don’t have a choice. You like men. End of. Well, aware that this likely makes me a bad- whatever, yeah, I have a choice. I’m bisexual, and in the past, all I was willing to do with men was the occasional one-night stand. Because, like I told you before, I have a very strong streak of self-preservation.”

“You know,” he sighs, “Lawrence isn’t straight. I don’t know for sure he’s gay, but he isn’t straight. He had an affair with a married man back when being gay was literally illegal, and he was thrown in prison and tortured. He might call it something different, but he was tortured. He genuinely loved his wife, Ellen, and she loved him. But they had Chrissie, and whatever that took, however many times, that was the beginning and end of them being man and wife. If it weren’t for your sister liking Benedict Cumberbatch, would you even have any idea how many lives Alan Turing saved? Who he even was, and what he did?”

“See your point, but since I never paid attention in school when I was little, paid even less in college, and I didn’t finish that, that’s not the best example to use,” he responds.

“Fair enough." Robert looks over. “I know how my dad felt about that sort of thing. He talked about it when I was little. I don’t know how my mum, either of my mums, would feel. And Andy, oh yeah, I’d ever want him to know. He’s a man’s man, my dad’s boy. People are still killed, otherwise attacked, and lose everything over just being suspected of it.”

Shaking his head, Robert says, “I cheated with my brother’s fiancée, and then, I cheated on her. But once we were married, I never cheated on Chrissie. What we had was real, and if we can rekindle it, that’ll be real, too. I- don’t know what might have happened if you and I had met, first. But I’m not going to walk away from a second chance with the woman I love for-”

He doesn’t finish.

Part of Aaron wishes he would, and part of him is grudgingly grateful for the kindness of him not.

“Fine. I wish you luck.”

“Aaron. Are- are you going to be okay?”

Rage fills him, but he manages to wrestle it down. Scoffing, he says, “Don’t flatter yourself into thinking I’d ever hurt myself over you, Robert.”

He leaves.

…

When he gets home, he finds Liv and some teenage boy sitting in the living room and watching Basil play in her playhouse.

“What are you doing back so early,” Liv asks.

“Something came up. Who’s this?”

The teenage boy gives a small wave. He’s a small, dark lad with short, curly hair, but having known Adam at around the same age, Aaron knows better than to take automatic comfort in his non-threatening appearance.

“Simon,” Liv answers. “He’s Gabby’s mate.”

“Right, and where’s Gabby, then?”

“Loo,” Live answers with a wave in the general direction. Standing up, she comes over. “What came up? Did Robert hurt you? I’ll hurt him back, if he did,” she swears with hard, serious eyes.

Sighing, he pulls her into a hug and kisses her head. “Sometimes, people just don’t work out, and it hurts, but he didn’t hurt me. Absolutely no missions of vengeance, yeah?”

 He sees Simon flinch, and he manages to avoid rolling his eyes. “Now, about this boy alone with-”

“Don’t,” Liv warns. “We’ve been going to the park, but some idiots from college started messing with Simon. You don’t want Gabby-”

“Don’t want me what,” Gabby asks.

Jumping, Aaron looks over to see she’s reappeared.

He also sees how bright-eyed and adoring the look Simon is giving her is, and he feels himself relaxing.

“Come on,” Liv tells the two, “we’re all going down to the pub. Don’t worry, no one’s going to mess with Simon with Aaron around.”

…

They go down to the pub, and his mum smiles brightly before giving him a concerned look. “Love, I didn’t even see you get back. Not that it’s not good to see you, but why are you back so early?”

“I’m on it,” Liv says. “A pint and a fizzy orange juice, please.”

Nodding, his mum looks over at Gabby and Simon. “And let me guess, two Marrakesh curries with a ginger beer and black tea?”

“That’d be great, thanks,” Gabby says.

Simon politely nods.

“You’re a vegetarian, too,” Aaron asks him.

“He doesn’t eat red meat,” Liv answers.

“Tell me, is he capable of speaking at all?”

Simon starts to open his mouth, Gabby starts quickly chewing on the peanuts she just popped into her mouth and trying to swallow them down, but glaring, Liv beats them both with, “Oi, don’t take whatever happened with Robert out on him. He’s a bit shy around strangers.” Pointing to a table, she says to Gabby and Simon, “Go sit over there, and I’ll keep watch. Me and my sad sack brother need to talk.”

She drags him away.

Sitting down in a booth, he sighs. “So, you’re keeping an eye on Gabby and her new friend. Why exactly?” Quickly, he adds, “I’m not having a go.”

“Simon’s my friend, too. But he and Gabby get on really well, and even though he’s not allowed to have a girlfriend right now, they’re good for each other."

Looking over, he sees, wonders of wonders, Simon is talking. What’s actually surprising, though, is the attentive way Gabby is listening.

“What happened?”

“Before me and Robert met, he was married. And the woman he was married to had a son. Her son was hurt yesterday, he’s fine now, but while Robert was helping them, he and her decided they wanted to give things another try.” Trying not to sound bitter and telling himself he absolutely will not cry in front of Liv, he says, “Sometimes, these things just happen, Liv.”

She squeezes his hand. “Do you want to go to the cinema tonight? Or do you need some time alone?”

He doesn’t remember it, but he must have had the right idea when he was little and wishing for a little brother or sister.

…

He deletes Robert’s number from his mobile, lets Adam drag him to a gay bar, and is grateful for the fact everyone is sympathetic but no one seems worried he’s going to hurt himself or destroy property.

There are times the fact Robert isn’t in his contacts is the only thing stopping him from automatically calling. He knows the number, but not being able to scroll down and push Robert’s name always reminds him why he can’t.

He realises he has no idea how Robert really felt about Liv. He always listened, out of politeness, maybe, and later, because, when you have a boyfriend or whatever Aaron was, part of the deal is you listen to him talk about his kid sister, and he helped when Liv had her surgery, but for all Aaron knows, he had as much fondness for her as he does Lachlan.

In the hotel, Robert spoke with real gentleness towards the boy he’s called creepy, hopeless, and a nightmare.

As much as his mind rebels against the thought, he insists on telling himself Robert might have done them both a favour by ending things.

…

A month after things end, a pretty woman drives up to the garage. “Hello,” she greets with a smile. Looking at his nametag, she says, “Oh, you’re who I’m looking for.” Offering her hand, she continues, “I’m Chrissie White, Robert Sugden’s ex-wife. I was wondering if you and I could talk privately?”

He’d been having a decent day up until now.

Spotting one of Cain’s newest hires, he waves him over. “Tell Cain I’m taking an early break.”

…

They go to Bob’s café.

“Um, I know this awkward,” Chrissie says.

“Got that right,” he huffs. “Why we doing it, then? What do you know or think you know or suspect about-”

She sighs. “I’m one of the few people who knows Robert better than anyone. Last year, I knew he started seeing someone. I was happy for him, especially when I saw how happy he was. Now, I’ll admit, finding out it was a man was a bit, or actually, a huge surprise, but the important thing is he was happy. He’d found someone he cared about, and I was grateful for that person. I’m grateful for you.”

He takes a breath. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t always handle being cornered well, and I just assumed that was what you were doing. Let’s start over, yeah?” He offers his hand. “Aaron Livesy.”

She shakes it. “Chrissie.”

“So, why exactly are you here?”

“To see how exactly you feel about him.”

“That might not be a good idea.”

She chuckles. “I don’t want to sound self-pitying or bitter, but ever since puberty, boys and men have been taking advantage of me or otherwise hurting me. My father and son were the only exceptions until Robert came around. We had a happy marriage, and after the divorce, I always knew I could still count on him. Because of all that, I’ll always be in his corner.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you get divorced?”

She sips her coffee with a thoughtful expression. “We were good together. Passionate, happy, a team. I’m not saying it got boring, because, it didn’t, and I’m not saying the passion left, because, it didn’t. But- did you he ever tell you he was shot?”

“Only a little,” he answers. “What happened?”

“When we were engaged, he was with someone. At his office. An intruder came in, shot him, ransacked the place. He never told me who the girl,” she pauses, looks at him, and he feels a sense of sympathy for her and annoyance at Robert, “well, I’ve always assumed it was a woman, but I’m now realising that I’m not sure I ever heard him use pronouns, was, only that the robber let the person go before he shot him.”

Closing her eyes, she shakes her head. “After he came out of the coma, he confessed, begged me for a second chance, and swore up and down he’d never do something like that again. Well, I called the engagement off, but I wasn’t going to just leave him all alone, not after he’d been shot. He refused to contact his family, and I wasn’t sure they’d even come if they were.”

“My father, one of the very first things he ever said about Robert was, ‘He’s got talent, intelligence, and a manipulative streak a mile-wide.’ Well, maybe it should, but that last one has never been much concern for me. I’ve done things I’m not proud of and gotten away with it before.”

“Yeah, me, too,” he says.

“Perhaps, though, I should have remembered that a little better. Or paid attention when Dad kept bringing it up. Obviously, despite breaking the engagement, we ended up married, anyways. He never cheated on me, and he never really gave any indication he wanted someone or something else. But the fact he did, before the shooting, was always somewhere in my mind. Once things became all settled, I found myself wondering if he truly was as happy as he could be. If I was everything to him, or if I was just good enough.”

“Now,” she says with a gulp of the obviously not alcoholic enough drink, “I’ve come to see what it was like with you and him. How you feel about him.”

“I love him,” he admits. “As for the other, it was supposed to be a one-off, then, it was causal and good, and I’m not sure when that changed.”

“Good,” she says.

“Look- you aren’t going to leave him because of this, are you?”

“No,” she answers. “Whether this makes me sound selfish or not, I’m going to end things, because, I deserve better. Lucky, my son, deserves better. I used to wonder if he might be happier with something or someone else, and now, I know that, when he’s with me, he’s thinking of you. For all the mistakes I’ve made with men, the moment I start to become someone’s second best, it’s over. I don’t settle for someone who isn’t everything, and I don’t settle for being less than everything to someone.”

“You’re right to look out for yourself and your boy,” he offers. “But just because you’re leaving him-”

“Oh, I know,” she interrupts. “Whether the two of you get back together or not, that’s completely between the two of you. I’m telling you this, because, you care about him, and this is going to hurt him. I’m hoping you’ll, at least, be there for him as a friend.”

“Right.” He takes a sip. “Uh, how did you- I’m assuming he didn’t tell you. So, how’d you find out about me? Know where to find me?”

“Like I said, I knew shortly after you and he started that he was with someone. After he and I got back together, I decided I needed to know more. It wasn’t hard. I’ve done investigating before for White industries.”

She smiles at him. “Again, I’m not trying to get involved, but you should know, he cares deeply about you. Having met you, I’m glad. If you and him do get back together, please, don’t hurt him. Once he loves someone, I’m not sure he can ever completely stop.”

He doesn’t love me, and he’s already hurt me, he thinks.

“Yeah,” he says. “Thanks, uh, for this. It’s good to know where we all stand, I suppose.”

Nodding, she kisses his cheek. “Thanks for the coffee. Have a good life, Aaron.”

“You, too.” He wraps his hand around her wrist before she can turn and adds, “And thanks for telling me all this.”

Giving him a somewhat sad smile, she nods.

…

After work, he goes over to Paddy’s and drinks beer on the sofa.

“You know you can tell me anything,” Paddy reminds him.

Taking a breath, he does.

“Oh,” Paddy says. “Well- Whatever you do, be careful. I know how you feel about Andy, but there was a time Robert’s reputation was worse than his. It doesn’t sound as if he was ever going to change until he had a literal brush with death. But then, I’d never say a person drastically changing for the better is impossible.” He nudges Aaron’s arm, and Aaron smiles.

“If you need to, put yourself first. If going around would hurt too much, don’t do it. But if it wouldn’t- maybe Robert could use a friend. Just a friend, for right now, though,” Paddy stresses.

He nods. “Thanks, Paddy. For not- for being here.”

“I always will be,” Paddy promises.

…

He calls Robert and arranges to meet him on Saturday.

…

Robert looks terrible. He’s pasty, red-eyed, and winces when he sits down.

“Don’t tell me you’re drunk.”

“I’m hungover,” Robert mutters. “There’s a difference.”

A waitress comes over, and Aaron says, “Before anything else, bring him a glass of water, please.” Once it arrives, he orders, “Drink. Take it slow.”

Robert complies.

“Look, I had nothing to do with Chrissie-”

“Yes, you did,” Robert interrupts. “Not actively, not through any fault of yours, but what’s the point in trying to say she was wrong? I wasn’t cheating on her, not physically, but I was coming home to her and wishing she was someone else. All things considered, her kindness is a bit suspicious, really.”

Aaron tries to figure out how to respond.

“I’m glad you called, actually. You- whether you like this or not, last week, I called Victoria, and we finally had a proper chat. Haven’t done that in years.”

“That’s great. Of course, I’m happy about-”

“I’m moving to Emmerdale,” Robert continues. “Not because of you. Lawrence and I have finally made peace as much as we can. I can work from there. And I need my sister. I don’t want to, and I probably have for years and been too stubborn to admit it, but I need my sister. Diane. Maybe even Andy, although, I promise, if he and I can work things out, I’ll still stand by your decision to not have him around Liv.”

“Whatever’s happened between us, I’m glad that you and some of your family are giving each other a chance, Robert.”

Nodding, Robert looks fully at him. “Any chance for me and you, then?”

Suddenly feeling incredibly tired, Aaron asks, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m not moving there for you, but since I am, is there any chance you and I could try being together? Like a proper couple? Boyfriends?”

“You still have plenty of alcohol in your system, mate. And the thing is, the thing I don’t like to admit, is there might have been a time I’d’ve been willing to do- but I have Liv. When you were a causal bloke from out-of-town I might or might not have hooking up with, fine, we’re both grownups, allowed to blow off steam, but this would be different. It’d be me having feelings and wanting more and lying or, at least, hiding what I’m doing or not doing or about who I’m with. When she starts dating, if I ever find out she’s some bloke or, I suppose, some girl’s dirty little secret, screw her being allowed to make her own mistakes, I would end it for her and make sure they stayed away from each other.”

“Besides that, you’re not wrong about how the world is. If you’re with a man, people’ll think you’re gay, and if you’re with a woman, they’ll think you’re straight. Right now, you might think you’re ready to deal with people knowing you’re not straight, but take some pain reliever, get some proper sleep, and you’ll come around to your regular self, yeah?”

“What if I do that and my regular self is someone who is capable of handling that and still wants to be with you?”

Scoffing, Aaron rubs his head. “Alright, look, if you are, then, we can talk more. But until you’re completely sober and free of your hangover, that’s the end of this conversation.”

“Okay,” Robert agrees.

“I came- I wasn’t exactly sure why, but with this, anything I can do to help you get ready for the move?”

Robert looks at him with grateful eyes.

…

Since there aren’t many places to rent and Victoria refuses to let Robert stay at the hotel, Robert is moving in with her and Adam.

Aaron helps bring in the bed Robert insists on replacing her guestroom one with, and when Victoria and Adam are in the kitchen, Robert grabs his sleeve. “Aaron.”

“Yeah?”

Leaning against the wall, Robert tugs him over. “Aside from a beer last night, I haven’t had anything to drink. I’m definitely not hungover.”

“Good for you."

“Come on,” Robert says. He kisses him. “We can talk, or we can go around to the pub. Embarrass Liv.”

“Right, you think those are my only choices?”’

Shrugging, Robert says, “I’ve never lied to you. I did hurt you, and I’m sorry. But you know you can trust me. So, give me a chance. Give us a chance. I want you, and I know you want me.”

Maybe he shouldn’t, but he does want Robert so badly.

“Yeah, alright." He kisses Robert. “But let’s not get carried away, yeah? If you want to see other people-”

“No,” Robert says. “Just you and me. I want us to be exclusive.”

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” he warns.

“You know me better than that,” Robert says.

“Yeah, I suppose I do. Let’s take things slow, though, yeah? Before we commit to anything big, let’s see if being a proper couple can actually work for us.”

“Sounds good.” Robert pulls him in for a deeper kiss.

Aaron starts to get lost in it, and the door opens.

They break apart to find Adam and Victoria staring.

“Right, well,” Robert says, “I should probably up a sock or something on the door when I’m spending alone time with my boyfriend, hadn’t I?”

Aaron’s torn between happiness at the easy way Robert says this and guilt and dread at the realisation of everything coming together on Adam’s face.

…

Thankfully, Adam is a true mate (though, Aaron’s not daft enough to think there won’t be a few friendly murder attempts in their near future), and Victoria is almost disturbingly happy for them.

Liv, though, makes her distrust of Robert clear.

“Come on, Liv,” Aaron pleads. “Come have some pizza with me and Robert. We can invite Gabby and Simon, if you want.”

“No,” is her flat response. “I’ll have my tea here, thanks. Have fun with your boyfriend. If he hurts you, I’ll have Basil over in his underwear drawer quick as a flash.”

“Thanks? No, I mean, no. Liv, you’re not siccing Basil on Robert.”

“As long as he doesn’t hurt you, I’m not,” is all she’s willing to agree.

There’s a knock, and Robert comes in. “So, am I invited here tonight?”

Confused, he points out, “We’re going out for pizza.”

“Change of plans." Sitting down, Robert grabs Liv's hoodie when she starts to get up. “It doesn’t have to be tonight, but when you’re ready, invite me over for tea, yeah? If your little sister here won’t come out with us, I’ll just have to come over some time when she doesn’t have much of a choice but to stick around.”

“Robert-”

Ignoring him, Robert tugs on Liv’s hoodie. “Hey. You don’t have to like me. We don’t have to be mates. I’d take you over the last kid I had to deal with in a heartbeat, but if we never get close, we never get close. Since I’m hopefully going to be around your big brother for a very long time, though, I’m not going to make him deal with having to always balance time between us.”

“You hurt him.”

“Yes, and I’m sorry for that. If it helps, I didn’t intentionally set out to.”

“I’m not going to just forget that.”

“Good,” Robert sincerely tells her. “You shouldn’t.”

“We can go out for pizza,” Liv grumbles. “I’ll go get ready.”

She leaves.

“Thanks,” he says.

“She’ll come around eventually.” Kissing him, Robert adds, “That tea invitation does still need to happen, though.”

“We’ll see.”

Liv reappears. “Don’t see why you have to be so persistent.”

Starting to walk out, Robert replies, “Maybe when you fall in love one day, you’ll understand.”

Both he and Liv stop.

Turning back to look at them, Robert asks, “What?”

“You’re saying you love him?”

Looking at him with soft eyes, Robert answers, “Yeah, of course, I do. Aaron, your brother’s, everything to me, Liv.”

…

After pizza, Aaron takes Robert up to his room.

Later, thoroughly worn out, Aaron steels himself. “Hey.”

Robert turns his head and looks at him with sleepy, soft eyes.

“I love you.”

“Good,” Robert says. “Because I love you, too, and I’ve decided, if you’ll let me, I’m going to be a proper little family with you and Liv. Your mum and the others, too, I suppose, but out of all of them, she’s the most important.”

They kiss until they lose the battle against sleep, and as he turns over and slips into it, he feels Robert’s arm loosely draping over him. 


	3. Family

Aaron wakes up to the smell of food.

Going down to the kitchen, he finds Robert handing Liv a plate of brekkie.

Smiling, Robert greets, “Morning,” with a quick kiss. “Chas is out, and Simon and Gabby-”

“If you were religious, Simon would be respectful of you,” Liv snaps.

“I’m not a fourteen-year-old boy insisting on completely reorganising my eating schedule, am I? Some religious mandates should only be followed by adults. Ideally, completely healthy ones, but-”

“That’s not how his mum does things.”

“Well, we wouldn’t know, would we, seeing as how neither Aaron nor I have ever spoken to her.”

Having got some coffee in him, he's torn between exasperation and the still new feeling of, _This is my life. I have Liv, and a boyfriend, and they’re having normal morning bickering sessions._

“Here’s some extra money, just in case. If he starts to get dizzy or have a coughing attack, make him have some water and a snack, at least.”

“Hold on,” he protests, “I have money to give her.”

“Never said you didn’t,” Robert says with a cheeky grin. “But seeing as how I dug your wallet out of the washing, actually, you don’t, at the moment. Should be fine once it dries out, though.”

Groaning, he tosses a dishtowel when Robert loses the battle against laughing.

“I’m hopeless, aren’t I,” he mutters.

“No,” Liv immediately says. “Of course, you aren’t. Just, um, don’t get hurt again, yeah?”

He winces at the memory.

A few months ago, with Robert’s encouragement and help he still isn’t sure he should have accepted, he and Adam started a scrap business. It’s been going well, but about a month ago, he had accidentally cut his leg, and Liv had taken it harder than he’d expected. Thankfully, though, Robert had managed to talk her to a better place.

“Don’t worry. Today’s probably going to be nothing but paperwork."

“Good." Finishing, she dumps her plate in the sink and kisses his cheek. “Remember, I have my study group tonight. We’re all going around to Jenny’s.”

“Right. If you can’t get a ride, call me or Robert. I don’t want you taking one of the last buses again.”

“Will do,” she agrees. “Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Once she’s gone, Robert pulls him up and thoroughly kisses him.

Moving away, he sighs. “You still have that important meeting at ten, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but ten’s a long way away.”

Aaron can find no argument with this, and so, he pulls Robert back over.

…

When Aaron comes in, Adam glances over and comments, “Things still going really well with Robert, I see?”

“What?”

Adam brings a hand up to his own neck, and belatedly, he remembers the love bite Robert left. “Yeah. I’d say you should see his, but actually, I think I might object to my boyfriend showing that part of himself to another bloke.”

“Ugh!” Adam pelts him with paper clips.

Laughing, he sits down. “But, seriously, we’ve been talking, and when me and Liv go to Ireland for Sandra’s birthday, Robert’s going to come with us.”

Giving him a soft smile, Adam says, “It sounds like you two lads might end up married, soon. If you do, remember, Vic does the catering.”

“If we got married, what makes you think we’d do a wedding? Just get the papers, and-”

“Yeah, you do that, and I doubt you’ll get to consummate your marriage, mate. Vic will straight-up murder Robert. I sometimes think the only reason she didn’t murder him for missing hers once he got back was because of you and him.”

“I’m not sure Mum and Paddy might not murder me, as well,” he muses.

“So, have you actually done any talking about-”

“No. If we do, I want it to come about naturally, right? Things are so good right now, I just want to enjoy them.”

“Got it,” Adam says.

…

As soon as Liv gets home, she mutters something about having already eaten and holes up in her room.

After he, Robert, and his mum have dinner, he and Robert curl up in his room. Usually, he listens to his MP3 Player while Robert reads, but before they do, they always talk. “How’d the meeting go?”

“Well, Lawrence wasn’t there, so, that was good,” Robert answers. “On the other hand, without him, I was completely surrounded by idiots.” He flops his head against the pillow. “What about yours?”

“It was good. Good for me, at least. Based on the shouting, I’m guessing Adam was in the same boat as you, talking to idiots on the phone.”

Robert winces. "Aaron."

“We’re doing fine. Silent investor, yeah? If this fails, I’ll find a way to-”

“It’s not going to fail,” Robert declares. “Adam does a good job most of the time, and well, you’re brilliant, aren’t you?”

“I don’t think you can be unbiased about this. What with you living in fear of a fifteen-year-old’s turtle and all.”

“I’m not the one who can never have crusts on my sandwich because of said turtle,” Robert points out.

Aaron silently concedes the point.

There’s a- there might have been a knock on the door.

Touching Aaron's chest, Robert shakes his head. Getting up, he asks, “Liv? Chas?” and goes to open the door.

As soon as Aaron sees Liv, he jumps out of bed. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, good. You two aren’t- Aaron, I don’t feel so good.”

“Okay,” he gently says. Kneeling down, he puts his wrist against her forehead. “You haven’t got a fever. What feels bad?”

He knows her period was a fortnight ago, and he doubts it’d come back so soon. When she first came, Liv occasionally lied to skip school, but she never pretended to be ill.

“I just don’t feel good. It’s not pain, it’s just- not good,” she tells him.

Robert quietly suggests, “Alright, why don’t you take her down to the living room? Camp out on the couch and find something on the telly. I’ll go get some fizzy water with lemon and maybe whip up some soup and toast.”

“I’m not hungry,” Liv mumbles.

“Well, I’ll still get the water and lemon, okay?”

“That sounds good." Standing up, he takes her hand. “Hey, come on. We’ll watch telly for a bit, and if you still don’t feel alright in an hour or two, we’ll figure out what to do then.”

…

They watch some home decorating show, and about forty minutes in, Liv falls asleep.

Quietly, Aaron asks, “Do you think she might have eaten something bad? Or do you think someone might have hurt her? Her and Gabby had a row? That Simon kid? I swear, if he did anything-”

Robert touches his arm, and he suddenly realises he’s been pacing.

“I dunno,” Robert says. “Let’s not jump to conclusions, though. In the meantime, why don’t we move her to your room for tonight, and I’ll kip on the couch. If she needs something, you’ll be there.”

“That’s not fair to you,” he protests.

“I don’t mind.” Robert gently kisses him. “Hopefully, this will all be nothing.”

…

In the morning, Liv says, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he assures her. “Are you feeling better?”

She nods. “Just a bad mood. Not like whatever last night was.”

Hesitating, he says, “If you need to miss school-”

“I don’t."

Downstairs, his mum fusses at all of them, “You should have woken me.”

“We had it handled, didn’t we,” Robert says with a look at him.

“Yeah, Mum, it’s all alright now.”

…

He picks up Liv from school, and she’s quiet the whole way home.

When they get there, they stay in the car.

“Whatever it is-”

“Dad has cancer!”

Confusion and terror flood him. “What?”

“I’ve been seeing Dad. I’m sorry he hit you, and I’m sorry he kicked you out, but he’s our dad. And he has Hodgkin's Lymphoma.”

“You’ve been seeing him. Has he- Liv, this is important, has he-”

“He’s never hurt me,” she says. “I don’t like what he did to you, but he doesn’t stop being my dad just because he made a mistake. Please, don’t hate me.”

He can’t answer.

“Aaron? Aaron, please!”

Then, she’s out of the car and running inside.

Taking a shaky breath, he drives away.

…

As soon as Gordon opens the door, Aaron bursts in. “What are you playing at? I swear, if I ever find out you’ve hurt Liv-”

“You can’t just-” His dad sighs. “Look.”

He’s handed something.

From what he can tell, if the papers are forgeries, they’re masterful.

“So, you have cancer. I hope you die from it. Don’t you ever come near my sister again.”

“She’s my daughter. Unlike the other mistake I made-”

“Oh, meaning me? Your son? I’m not the mistake. How you and mum did me is, but you did worse than she ever did!”

Opening the door, his dad orders, “Leave. Or I’ll ring the police.”

“Go ahead. I’ll go, but Liv ever gets near you again, and you won’t be able to get me to leave. You’ll have to call them, and then, I swear to God, I’ll tell them exactly what you did to me!”

“They’d never believe your lies,” is the cold response.

…

When he leaves, he sees he has a voicemail from both Robert and his mum.

Instead of going home, he goes to the scrapyard and calls Sandra.

“Hi, love,” she cheerfully greets, and he hates himself even more, because, she won’t be so happy, something of a rarity for her, for long. “Everything alright with you and Livvie?”

He can’t help but curse.

“Aaron,” she worriedly inquires.

“Sandra, get on the next plane you can,” he orders. “I don’t want you to, God knows I don’t, but you might have to take Liv. Gordon has cancer, and Liv’s been sneaking around to see him. I don’t think he’s touched her, but it’s not as if I can keep her locked up. At least, in Ireland, she’ll have a hard time of leaving until she turns eighteen.”

“I’ll be there as fast as I can,” she dully tells him.

He hangs up, takes a few steadying breaths, and starts to tidy up the office.

When he comes across a letter opener, he finds himself holding it and staring.

Calm numbness starts to overtake him, and he positions it.

…

Afterwards, relief runs through him.

He knows, soon, he’ll feel disgust and horror and wish he could banish the pain and make the cut magically disappear. Every time he feels or sees it, he’ll feel even worse than he did when he first made it.

But for right now, there’s nothing but relief. The pain is welcome.

After listening to the voicemails, he goes home.

…

Robert kisses him. “I’ve heard the gist of it. Liv’s in her room. It’s- why don’t we all just leave her alone for right now?”

“Probably for the best,” he agrees. “Are you or Mum doing tea tonight?”

“I am. Chas is out, again.”

“I’ll help, then.”

He goes into the kitchen, rolls up his sleeves, and begins washing his hands.

Robert comes over, and he panics when he sees Robert’s eyes falling on the cut. “What happened?”

He's surprised at how easily he manages to make his response, “I cut myself,” so causal and innocent, but he’s relieved to see Robert takes it how he wanted him to.

He knows he should feel guilty, but he doesn’t.

“Uh, look. I understand how much you hate your dad, and well, I’ll always take your side on things like this, but- cancer. If he ever tries to hit her or anything, she’s old enough it’d only make her angry and decide to cut contact on her own. Not that that would be ideal, I know, but we could make sure we’re always around when he is…”

Robert continues trying to play peacemaker. He’s all tentative and watching how his words come across, and it’s so unlike the cocky, smug man Aaron knows he can be.

All Aaron can think is, _You should’ve left the nutter trying to kip in his car all alone, mate._

…

There’s not much talking before they go to sleep.

Or there isn’t much talking before Robert falls asleep, and Aaron moves out from underneath his arm.

Liv’s light is on, and he imagines she’s surfing the internet or chatting with Gabby.

He locks the bathroom door, sits down, and makes sure none of his sobs become loud.

…

“After school, me and you are going to talk,” he tells Liv.

“Whatever.”

“I love you,” he tries.

“I love you, too,” is her sullen reply.

He breathes out.

…

At the scrapyard, Adam’s called away, and finding some dishwashing liquid (he honestly doesn’t have a clue how and why they have it), Aaron braces himself and starts to pour it on the wound.

“Right.”

Jumping, he looks over to see Robert standing in the door of the portacabin.

“Taking a page from my book, eh?” Robert locks the door, walks over, and takes the soap. “You didn’t lie at all, but anyone looking for the truth wouldn’t have gotten it.”

“Robert-”

“Anyway, I brought stuff to help clean it.”

Robert wipes the soap away with a wet nap, and then, puts some cool, sting-free ointment over it. Getting out a roll of dressing, he kneels down and starts applying it. “I know this isn’t about me, but when I was shot- I fought to live. I remember lying there, mostly in shock, and thinking, ‘I’ve got to live,’ and, ‘please, don’t let me die.’ Stuff like that.”

“But along with all that, at some point, all these terrible, horrible things I’d done in my life came flooding in. I didn’t want to die, but I wondered if I deserved it. If it wouldn’t be better if I did. I promised I’d change and do better, but I’m not sure I believed it. After all, I’d already realised how much I hated myself and needed to change, but there I was, minutes before, with someone whilst my fiancée was waiting at home.”

Aaron’s heart aches painfully sharp in his chest at the thought of Robert lying on his office floor and thinking such things. _I could have lost him before I even met him_ , hits.

Finishing the dressing, Robert stands up and pulls him along. “The truth is, once I was up and moving, I did a few more things I immediately regretted. It didn’t seem like the promise was ever going to stick.”

He starts to tug at Aaron’s shirt, and Aaron hurriedly moves away. “No. I’m not in the mood.”

A firm hand is around his wrist and on his back, and he’s tugged back over. “Believe me, I’m not either.”

The shirt comes off, and softer but also more insistent than Aaron’s ever felt them, Robert touches and presses against his scars, and with a sense of resigned humiliation, Aaron realises he’s trying to figure out if they’ve changed in anyway.  “I haven’t-”

“Good.” Examining Aaron’s hands, fingers, and the crease in his arms, Robert asks, “Do you remember what I said in hospital? To Liv, when she asked how I’d feel if I was with someone who has scars?”

Softly, Aaron answers, “Yeah, of course, I do. That’s when I showed you mine, innit? You said you didn’t just sign up for the good and ignore the bad and complicated.”

“Maybe I could have used a better phrase than ‘sign up’. None of my ex-girlfriends would have much good to say about me, and,” kneeling down, he tugs at Aaron’s trousers, “let’s face it, we both know, if I’d ever gone for men as anything more than one-night stands, it’d be the same with my ex-boyfriends.” Looking up, he grins.

Aaron can’t help but chuckle and shake his head.

“Shoes and socks off.”

“Really? We’re doing this?”

“Yep,” Robert answers with grim determination.

Sighing, Aaron complies.

“But even with this, all of them would also say that, however many other bad ways I might handle it, my first instinct isn’t to leave to when things get tough or crazy or whatever. If someone matters to me, I stick around, and I do whatever I feel I need to. So, get this through your thick head, right now, Aaron: you can try to push me away, shut me out, whatever you think you need to.”

Standing up, he begins checking behind Aaron’s ears and on his neck before running his fingers through Aaron’s hair. “It’s not going to change the fact I love you, and I want to be with you. It wasn’t just words when I said I wanted to be a family with you and Liv. I meant it.”

Aaron slides his pants down without prompting. “You know, when Liv first came, I swore I’d never do this again.”

“What’s it called? ‘A slip-up?’ ‘Lapse?’ It’s not good, but you’re still alive, and we’ll make sure it doesn’t get infected. That it heals properly. People make mistakes, and they do things they shouldn’t, sometimes, and one thing I know you’ve always tried hard to make sure that Liv believes and understands is that, if she does or finds herself in a bad situation, it doesn’t make her bad, and it doesn’t mean she deserves to forever be punished.”

“Try to cut yourself the same slack you’d cut her, okay? Please, Aaron?”

“She might be leaving soon. I’ve called Sandra. I told her to get on the next flight she could.”

Robert takes a sharp breath. “We’ll have to talk more about that.”

When Robert finally moves away, Aaron is sure Robert’s literally touched and squinted at every single inch of Aaron’s entire body.

Getting redressed, he moves over to the desk Robert’s leaning against.   

Pressing his hand against Aaron's, Robert says, “I’ve never asked, but this- your dad did more than just smack you around. Let me help you, please. Because right now, he’s winning. You’re hurting yourself, Liv leaving- that would only hurt you more. It’d hurt her.”

“Maybe, if he dies, and she wants to, she can come back,” Aaron finds himself saying.

“I can find absolutely no flaw in your logic, and I’m sure a teenage girl prone to throwing things when she’s agitated, who possesses an attack turtle, and who you once accurately characterised as a mini-Sherlock Holmes won’t be able to, either.”

Aaron shoves at his shoulder.

Through the defensive irritation, there’s relief at the sarcasm.

“But more seriously, this could be a terrible mistake,” Robert quietly says. “Cancer isn’t an automatic death sentence anymore. Then, when Liv turns eighteen, we both know she’s liable to find her way back to him. Right now, you’re her- You can’t send her away, Aaron.”

“You know, that first night we met, I heard you talking, and to be honest, you reminded me of Lawrence: a dad wrapped around his little girl’s finger. Even finding out it was your sister didn’t change it much. I just thought that meant you probably caused your parents loads of grief by insisting on spoiling her rotten and being her best mate.”

“And in some ways, that’s more-or-less it, but I’ve seen it’s the same on her end. She worships you, Aaron. You’re her brave, brilliant, big brother, and if I’d hurt you any more worse than I had, there’s no doubt she would been more than just distant towards me. She would have made sure we were never together, no matter what it took or how you felt, because, flipping heck if any man not good enough for you was going to stay around.”

“If you do this, it’ll be a betrayal to her, and it’ll make her doubt your love. How do you plan to stop her when she’s all grown-up, then?”

Groaning, Aaron puts his head in his hands. “I can’t let our dad have access to her, Robert. I wouldn’t be any kind of brother at all if I did.”

There’s silence for a long moment.

“Well, then, you have two options,” Robert says with such flatness that Aaron finds himself straightening up and looking at him. “You once said, ‘If our dad ever comes near my sister, I’ll kill him. No joke.’ Or you can talk to me, and we can try to figure this out. I’m not trying to push you, but if I knew what he did, some reason beyond the fact he kicked you out-”

“What, you think it was alright for him to do that?”

“What I know is, your mum left you and hit you, Paddy almost kicked you out more than once, Cain fired you and beat up on you, and you let all of them be around Liv. Cain, not as much as the others, but still. If that was all he did, to make Liv happy, you’d put it behind you.”

He takes a breath. “Well, I can’t kill him. Not yet, anyway. It’s for the best. Sandra’s been living with her sister and has a good job. She has some money saved up. I can send money, now, too. And Liv can still talk to Gabby and Simon from there.”

“Don’t I get a say?”

“Besides the fact you’ve more than had yours, why would you?”

“Well, by this point, I reckon I have some claim to her.”

He stares.

“I know we’ve never been made an official announcement, but I’ve been straight up living at yours for months. My sister is responsible for her knowing how to cook. I’m the one who prepares her when I know that something big is going to happen on Game of Thrones.”

The thought comes, _and she likes your chocolate-potato pancakes better than anyone else’s_.

Even when it comes to Sandra, he’s never completely said it. Almost three years ago, he found out his sister, the little girl he never gave much thought to, had tracked down their dad, and he’d said, _You know what he did to me, Sandra_. He’d hurled insults and curses at her and made threats about what he’d do if she didn’t protect Liv.

The first time with Jackson, he wasn’t even thinking of it. He was wondering if what they did meant they were proper boyfriends, if Jackson had liked it, if they could do it again soon, and being he was only nineteen and still pretty messed up, part of him had seriously debated maybe leaving a note and sneaking out of the house.

Even now, he makes it a point to never think of Victoria, partly because, her taking his virginity and him being in love with her brother are headache inducing to think about, and partly because, in the back of his mind, his dad was there. He was fumbling but tried so hard to be gentle, he was afraid a few times he wouldn’t be able to get through it all and finish, and when he did, he remembers feeling, _I did it. I was with a girl, I didn’t hurt her, I can get married to a nice, pretty woman someday, have kids, and never hurt them. It’ll be fine, this is proof I’m not broken._

With Ed, he thought about it once and quickly decided not to. Things were usually so easy and nice, and he liked the life they had. On top of what happened with Jackson, his scars, and being a fugitive, he thought adding one more huge thing would have been too unfair to Ed.

When it came to Holly and Finn, he never thought about it and wouldn’t consider it now. The truth was, he did use her to fool others, and he’s heard she’s doing well in London. As for Finn, aside from the fact he tries not to think about the fact his little sister and his boyfriend will sometimes sit down together and get into hour long discussions about books and movies with the man he once had a one-night stand with, Finn is more someone he trusts to babysit than he’s actual mates with.

He’d really hoped he and his mum could both die without her ever finding out.

Every month, he goes to therapy, but he tries to focus on not focusing on the past, on managing his anger, and on not hurting himself. His view is, some things really do need to stayed bottled, and it’s best just to learn to not do stupid things when the pain gets bad.

Now, beside him, there’s Robert, and- Robert probably won’t run. He can probably cope with this the way he has the scars and the stuff he’s learned about Aaron’s past.

Probably, is the keyword.

Robert wants Liv to say, and Aaron’s a little disturbed and grateful both by the thought, if he said, ‘yeah, I’m going to kill him,’ Robert might well nod his head and start helping him come up with a plan.

Robert might insist Aaron needs to tell, and deeper than this, he’s always been afraid if he tells even one person, somehow, everyone else will find out. He’d rather be a hopeless thug to everyone than a victim of _that_ , even to Liv. Some people still think, ‘oh, Aaron Livesy, he’s so messed up because of this or that,’ and he’s learning to deal with the fact, for some people, this won’t change, but he hates the thought of it being, ‘everything bad about him, everything wrong he’s done, it’s all because of what his dad did, not what he decided to do himself.’

“Hey,” Robert gently says, and he realises he’s started crying.

Wrenching away, he wipes at his eyes.

Robert doesn’t come after him, but he doesn’t leave, either.

“He raped me.”

And this, he discovers, is the same relief making a cut always feels, at first.

He wonders if he’s going to be able to survive the pain of after. He learned in class, once, sometimes, wounds have to be cut open to let the bad out, but he doesn’t think the metaphor applies here.

Robert, Finn, and Liv could probably say, pops into his head, and he has fight laughter against the tears.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” Robert is saying.

And now comes the part where my boyfriend bricks it, he dully thinks.

Then, however, he’s sat on the floor with Robert near him and a brew in his hand.

“How old were you?”

…

After everything’s out, he confesses, “I’ve thought about killing him. But Liv-” He shakes his head.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you,” Robert says. “So. What happens now?”

He shakes his head.

Moving a little closer, Robert sighs. “I- I’m probably going to mess this all up. Uh, but, Aaron, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, but- Liv might have kids of her own someday. What if your dad has more kids? Another sister for you, another brother for her? Gets involved with someone who has kids of their own?”

Horror settles in Aaron’s throat and stomach. “Liv’s fifteen. She’s still a kid. And this would destroy my mum.”

“And what about you? You’ve been suffering since you were a kid. He’s the one who deserves to be suffering. You deserve the chance to be happy. Safe. As long as he’s free, you’re always going to be worried about Liv, and you’re always going be dealing with this inside. If you let me help, though-”

“What? What do you think you can do, Robert? There’s no evidence. He didn’t hurt- well, obviously, what he did hurt, but if it did damage, it healed on its own. No medical report. I never told anyone. Sandra, she knew, and she did nothing, and that might have been best for Liv, so- the point is, she might decide to just take Liv and disappear, and even if she did help, she doesn’t have anything but, ‘I found a wet pair of pyjamas a few times and thought he wet the bed until I heard them arguing once, but no, I didn’t hear anything concrete.’”

“Arguing once?”

He explains, and something flashes past Robert’s eyes.

Feeling everything drain, he says, “I’ve lied to the police before, Robert. I’ve lied to most people in the village. Whatever you want to call it, I did play a part in Jackson’s death. I’ve stolen, gotten into fights, and destroyed property.”

“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of,” Robert says.

He can’t respond, and Robert orders, “Look at me.”

He does.

“You’ve done nothing wrong. You have to believe that. All the things you’ve done, they don’t come anywhere near close to comparing to what he did to you. You’re a good person, Aaron, and you deserve to be really happy.”  

His cut itches under the dressing, and getting up to find his watch, he sees Liv will be getting out of school soon.

He feels Robert clasp his shoulder. “Hey. I’ll be here. Whatever you’re ready to do. Whatever it is you need to do. You’re not on your own.”

In his mind, he sees the damn necklace Gordon sent. She wears it all the time. He always tells himself, there’s a fair chance their grandmum was a decent woman, and it’s only right Liv have something of hers.

Robert’s right, he realises. She could have kids, someday, and if Gordon’s still around, of course, she’d bring them around to him. _My big brother was hit a few times, and after he hit my mum, he was thrown out, and this plus other emotional issues made him cut himself_ isn’t an end of reason to deny kids their grandparent or even deny the grandparent some form of access to them.

Whether she believes him or not, right now, if he can get anyone else to believe and get Gordon locked up, she’ll be safe. Even if he can’t get Gordon sent down, if he can get certain people to believe him, they’ll try to keep her away, and they’ll damn well keep any future kids away. If he tries to warn her after she’s all grown, she might not, and if he has to go against her for the sake of any kids she might have- he couldn’t bear it.

Turning, he tells Robert, “If my mum’s around, I need you to keep her out of the room. And try to stay near the front door.”

Nodding, Robert gives him a tentative smile.

…

They pick up a caustic Liv, and as Robert talks to Aaron’s mum in the pub, Aaron takes Liv to the living room.

He tries to be gentle, and- he tells her.

Most of the cloudiness in his mind disappears when she screams, “You’re lying! I don’t believe you!” and curls up in a corner.

He’s surprised there’s no anger or guilt. All he sees is his scared, fifteen-year-old sister, a good kid who’s loved, worshiped, and dreamed of her dad for years. Gordon is someone she was taken away from, and years later, family loyalty and a little girl’s dreams helped her find him, and he said and did everything right.

Then, her big brother with scars on his chest and stomach came along and tried to make her happy, but of course, a brother taking her to the cinema and giving her a slightly better life than her mum could wasn’t going to stop her from wanting and needing her dad.

If someone told him his mum did such a horrible thing, there’s a good chance they might already be dead, but so far, she hasn’t even flung her shoes or a nearby toy of Basil’s at him.

He sits down near her. “I swear to you, I’m not.”

“Then, you’re just wrong! Dad wouldn’t- no!”

He waits.

“He’s not like you. There wouldn’t be anything wrong if he was, but he’s not. He had us, he had girlfriends before our mums. He’s not gay.”

“No, he’s not,” he agrees. “He’s not gay, and I’m nothing like him. Liv- I know you’ve heard before that rape isn’t about sex. It’s about power.”

“Jackson, Ed, Robert, I wanted all of them. I love Robert. When we’re together, it’s about that. If he weren’t around and I went out and picked up some bloke for the night, it’d be about two people having fun. I’m sure, in some way, Dad loved our mums. Loves you. It wasn’t about- he did it, because, he couldn’t control me, and that- well, for a time, that was the most effective way he could, and he knew it.”

“Did Mum know?”

“Not until later.”

“How much later,” she demands. “I was seven when she left. You were- seventeen? That’s about eleven years, innit?”

“About. I’m proud of you for doing so much better with your maths,” he offers.

She brandishes a shoe in his direction.

Taking a breath, he says, “Alright, look. What exactly your mum did and didn’t know, I don’t know. She knew enough to know she didn’t want to risk you being hurt. Later, when you found him and I found you, me and her talked a bit more about what had happened to me. Liv, I’m fine.”

She scoffs.

“Fair enough,” he says. “It’s been a rough road, but I’m doing okay right now. But you- Liv, me and her would have done anything to keep you safe. I’m not proud of it, but I punched her, remember?  She didn’t owe me anything. And if I’d found out she was hurting you, well, I wouldn’t have owed her anything, either. Half-brother trying to take you from your mum, so what, I’d’ve done whatever I needed to get you in a better place.”

“Does Robert know?”

“He came to the scrapyard today, and we talked.”

“Chas?”

“No.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

Rubbing his eyes, he nods. “I need to. But I wanted- needed you to find out this way.”

Getting up, she walks upstairs.

He debates following her, but soon, she reappears with the giant stuffed giraffe she won for him at a fair, and for one terrifying second, he’s afraid she’s going to destroy it, but instead, she hands it to him. “I don’t know how to feel. But I believe you, and I know something has to be done. Robert can take me out tonight, and you can talk to Chas. Feed Jane for me, yeah?”

When she offers her hand, he stands up and pulls her into a hug. “I’m sorry about this.”

“Don’t,” she orders. “I’m sorry for calling you a liar. Dad- he’s the one who should say sorry. Pay.”

Nodding, he moves away and kneels down. “Liv, when you’ve been seeing him-”

“He’s never touched me. Promise,” she says. “I just felt so guilty about going behind your back.”

“Well, don’t anymore, yeah? He’s not going to ever hurt either of us ever again.”

She nods, gathers Basil up, and they go down to the pub.

He belatedly realises he’s still carrying the giraffe, but he doesn’t have time to worry about this before Liv gives Robert a sharp kick.

“Liv!” He and his mum both scold.

“It’s alright,” Robert says with something between a wince and a laugh. “I’m guessing your brother told you some things, yeah?”

She nods. “And now, he needs to tell his mum, so, you’re taking me and Basil out.”

Robert looks at him, and he nods.

“Love,” he mum worriedly says.

“In a minute, Mum." Reaching over for Liv, he says, “No more kicking. That’s one thing you will lose your allowance over.”

Robert clasps his shoulder. “Call or text if you need me to come back fast. I can drop Liv off with Vic and Adam. Andy and Katie are out of town.”

“Cheers,” he agrees.

…

His mum holds him tight and cries.

…

Eventually, his mum and Liv end up curled up on the couch and watching a brightly-coloured DVD with lots of singing.

In bed, he promises, “I’m not going to hurt myself again.”

Please, he thinks, believe me.

“Just- if you feel the urge, call someone. Or find someone. Me, your mum, Paddy, anyone. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you.”

The words are soft and sincere, and Aaron’s afraid to trust them.

Robert- last week, Aaron had to threaten to set Basil on Robert’s books (he’d had Liv make a list of the ones he wasn’t allow to sic Basil on) in order to stop Robert from getting even deeper into a feud with Lawrence’s newest protégé. Robert would have given his all at trying to make it work with Chrissie if she hadn’t firmly ended things. He pays attention to anyone near him and files stuff about them away.

None of this is bad (well, the feuds Robert manages to consistently get himself involved in are), but Robert’s gone from a single businessman who had a nice flat, slept in suites when he travelled, and occasionally met up with a mate to watch footie and shag to this: Living above a pub, often making three or more meals for three or more people, digging his boyfriend’s wallet out of the wash and giving his boyfriend’s little sister money for her mates, and now-

There has to be a point when any sane person would say, _no, I really didn’t sign up for this_ , and if this isn’t the point- he might need to start questioning Robert’s sanity.

Except, Robert presses a kiss to his lips, gently rolls him onto his side, and Robert’s arm settles over and around him, a soft but undeniably solid presence, and Aaron will start properly worrying about Robert’s sanity when Aaron stops needing this so much.

…

His mum takes him to the police station, and later, he tells Robert, “DS Wise seems decent. And he reckons there’s a case, even with all the lack of evidence and long wait.”

“Good.” Robert puts his arm over Aaron’s chest and moves closer. “Do you think he’ll be okay with a teenage girl and her turtle glaring, dogging his steps, and even outright threatening him?”

Closing his eyes, he takes several deep breaths. If he was her strong, big brother before, he’s not anymore. Liv has been fussing about him and, no doubt, when she feels something or someone’s a threat, she’ll take to protecting him the same way she would Gabby’s little boyfriend, Simon.

“I guess we’ll see,” he answers. “How’d things go for you?”

“Good. Listen,” Robert shifts up.

Opening his eyes, Aaron looks over.

“Do you remember Ellie Hemsworth?”

“The one from Graphics with the baby you got hooked on Discworld audiobooks?”

“Yeah, well, Jamie’s starting to read herself, now, but-”

“She can’t be more than, what, two?”

“Ellie’s brilliantly creative. It’s lucky but no surprise her daughter would take after her.”

“’Course,” Aaron agrees. “What about her?”

“Her brother lives near here, and he has a large share in this computer company. They do- honestly, they could do better, but the problem is almost all of them fit the stereotype of socially awkward, I’d rather hole up in a dark room working on some bit of coding than actually talk to another human being. If they had someone like me, though, hunting down investors, taking the lead on business deals, they could go big. So, she and I have been talking around the subject, but more-or-less, if I leave White Industries, I’d have a job offer from him the next day.”

Utterly confused, Aaron props himself up. “What- I’m missing something. Robert, tell me you didn’t actually come to blows or something with Lawrence.”

Something close to actual horror crosses Robert’s face, but it’s quickly gone. “You have me confused with a deadbeat Chrissie very briefly once dated. Just because I’ve worked out plans on how to murder him before, that doesn’t mean I’d-”

“Yeah, alright,” he says. “Then, what is going on?”

There are certain things he is confident in knowing when it comes to Robert, and one of these things is: Robert will never leave White Industries. Before Robert and Lawrence managed to work out the shaky peace they have now, Lawrence was doing everything in his power to drive Robert out, and Robert was working almost non-stop to make sure Lawrence couldn’t. Part of it is pride, part of it is, divorced or not, Robert is always going to want some connection to Chrissie, and part of it is Robert takes petty joy in forcing Lawrence to continue to have to deal with him.

Aaron reckons, when Lawrence dies, Robert will occasionally show up at the grave just to gloat about doing something Lawrence wouldn’t have liked.

“Well, the money won’t be as good, not at first, but it’s closer, and I wouldn’t have so many out-of-town meetings. What do you think?”

Considering things, Aaron asks, “You aren’t doing this because of me, are you? Because of all this?”

“Not exactly,” Robert answers. “I’ve been thinking of this for some time. I started talking to Ellie before you told me. But this would make it easier for me to focus more on you right now.”

Everything in Robert’s voice and face are honest and determined.

Different reactions swirl around inside Aaron, and he tampers them all down.

Finally, he says, “This can’t all be about me, Robert. If you really think this will make you happy and you won’t regret it, then, go ahead. But I’m not sure this is a good idea. It might be better for you to, I dunno, wait a bit, see how you feel, then.”

“I’m meeting Lawrence in town the day after. Other than your doubts, though, you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah, of course. I want ya to be happy.”

Robert kisses him. “Good.” He tugs Aaron down and wraps an arm around him. “Hopefully, when this is all done, you’ll be able to be, too.”

“I have been happy,” he says. “With you and Liv. My mum. Maybe, after this is over, we should see about getting our own place, eh?”

“Sounds good,” Robert agrees. “Just so you know, though, I refuse to help move Basil’s playhouse. If something happens to it, you and Adam or whoever else is brave and/or stupid enough to help you will have to deal with Liv all on your own.”

Rolling his eyes, Aaron comments, “That’s love and commitment for you.”

Beside him, Robert chuckles. “Well, you have to be reasonable about what you expect out of me.”

He gets the feeling answering _and you need to be more reasonable about what you’re willing to give me before you end up giving too much_ wouldn’t go over too well.  

…

Robert finishes putting a plate in the refrigerator when Chas walks in. “Hey,” he says. “I’m about to go meet Lawrence. It probably won’t take but an hour, but if I do need to meet him later tonight, try to make sure Aaron eats. I don’t like it when he insists on waiting for me and falls asleep without eating. And if Simon pops around after sundown, there’s some leftover chicken curry. Remind Aaron that we do still have hate crime laws and, true or not, ‘Him being a fourteen-year-old boy hanging around my kid sister is the beginning and end of my problem with him,’ likely isn’t going to work as a defence.”

Chuckling, Chas shakes her head. “Oh, yeah, love. Mister ‘As a former fourteen-year-old boy, all of them are monsters, and it shouldn’t be against the law to kill them, especially if they hang around my baby sister’ will-”

Shaking his head and smiling, Robert interjects with faint exasperation, “A gay one.”

“Eh, gay, straight, whatever, he’s mostly right. Fourteen-year-old boys can be right little monsters, especially around girls,” Chas says. “Course, Simon’s a sweetie, and we all know he’s completely gone on Gabby.”

“Yeah, including Aaron,” Robert says.

Shaking her head, she pats his cheek. “Well, finding Simon asleep in Liv's room didn't help any, did it? Besides, do you remember how changeable you were at fourteen? Or were you? From what I know, he was loving one band this minute, putting up posters, and the next, he was fighting some lad at school for wearing a t-shirt with them.”

“I was worse, but in a different way. Anyway, I better go. You alright?”

She nods. “Good luck, love.” Then, reaching out, she stops him. “Hey. All this is- thank you, Robert. For being here for my boy and for Liv.”

Squeezing her hand, he says, “We’re all going to get through this, Chas. I promise.”

…

Robert and Lawrence met up at an outdoor café and shake hands.

“Lawrence.”

“Robert.”

They sit.

“I’m just going to come straight out with it,” Robert says. “I’m going to be leaving White Industries soon. It has nothing to do with you or Chrissie or me trying to get more of anything. Aaron and his family are going through some stuff, and it’ll be better for us if I have a job with duties closer to home.”

“Hmm,” Lawrence says. “I’m sorry for whatever Aaron’s family is going through. However?”

Smirking, Robert leans back and says, “You know, I wondered. I’ve stayed away from Chrissie for almost a year, I’ve only fought with Chloe when she was bungling things, which, it’s not my fault that’s been often, I’ve barely talked to you. But whatever, I have more important things to worry about than how I’m the worst mistake you ever made. I asked you to come because it’ll be easier to get my severance contract signed and filed with you here than doing it by mail.”   

…

“I think everything is in order,” Lawrence says. Looking up from his papers, he takes off his glasses.

Finishing his Americano, Robert says, “Cheers.” Taking them, he signs. “We barely have enough room for at Aaron’s for the four of us, so, if you’re staying past today, I imagine the inn would be more comfortable than the Dingle couch, but you’re more than welcome to come around for tea or breakfast.”

Lawrence starts to reply, but Robert tenses and looks over to see Gabby and Simon across the road. The latter has one hand wrapped around the jumper sleeve over her wrist, and she’s striding.

Groaning, Robert gets up, approaches them, and when they see him and start running, he runs, snags the neck of Simon’s shirt, and tugs. Simon falls back, and before he can let go of her sleeve, Gabby does, too.

Catching them both, Robert leads them over to the table. “Alright, where’s Liv?”

“She didn’t skip with us,” Gabby says. “Um, call my mum or whatever, but I need to use the loo.”

He places a palm against her forehead when she tries to move past. “Look, we both know you two wouldn’t have ran if it weren’t for trying to protect Liv. You’d just tell me to sod off, because, it’s not my boyfriend’s kid sister who was running up truant fees. Flipping heck, you,” he looks at Simon, “wouldn’t even be skipping if you didn’t feel morally compelled to tag along. Now, where is she?”

They’re both silent.

Rolling his eyes, Robert exhales deeply and kneels down in front of Simon. “Alright, look at me.”

Reluctantly, Simon complies.

“You really are a good little lad. When I was your age, I went through my share of stuff, too. Unlike you, though, I deserved to be an outcast, and even at my lowest, I’ve never had it anywhere near as bad as you. That’s not right, it’s not fair, and I’m not doing this because I want to bring you lower. I’m doing this because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my family.”

“The Inquisition, Magdalene laundries, priests hurting all those little kids, if there had been news coverage with video back then, if pictures of lynched victims could have been everywhere in an instant, people like me wouldn’t be the top dogs anymore. You, you’re just unlucky enough that, almost two decades ago, there was extensive video footage of a terrible tragedy and, somehow, through political machinations that even our own political leaders can’t properly explain, these misogynists in certain countries are gaining power and falling back on religion to justify doing terrible things.”

“But you found Gabby and Liv, or they found you, and suddenly, things were better. Well, if you want them to keep being better, you or her had better start talking. Because, if you don’t, when I find Liv, assuming she’s not hurt or worse, I’ll completely forbid her from seeing you, Simon, and I’ll make sure it’s enforced. No one to chaperone you and Gabby, and even if you and her,” he nods to Gabby, “go around together regardless, you know that the first time some more kids come around, having a problem with you, Gabby isn’t going to be able to handle it the way Liv has. Someone could get hurt.”

Simon opens his mouth, but Gabby smacks Robert hard across the head. “We tried to stop her, Simon especially, but she’s going to her dad’s.” She hesitates. “And she took a baseball bat from the school.”

Muttering, Robert rubs his face, grabs his keys, and asks Simon, “Got any money on you?”

Simon pulls out a meagre handful of pocket change.

“Right.” Robert digs out his wallet. “Ice-cream shop down the road. Buy your girlfriend some ice-cream and something fizzy to drink, and both of you stay until I get back.”

“I’m not his girlfriend! And I have money of me own. Which you didn’t even bother to ask.”

“Getting into your reputation for honesty and lack of petty thievery later, you pretty much are, and you can discuss male chivalry and pride in an age of growing female empowerment and independence at the shop. Also,” he hands some money over, “this is not a treat. I will find be asking what all was ordered and if the two of you stayed and didn’t cause any trouble. This is damage control. You will give me every cent of change back, and you will be paying me back.”

Simon nods.

“Go,” he orders.

They hurry away, and Robert jumps slightly when he sees Lawrence standing by. “You knew he had a kid. A girl,” he comments. “Some warning might’ve been nice, eh? Almost miss having to deal with Lachlan. Take care, Lawrence.”

…

Robert pulls up to Gordon’s house.

There’s a giant hole in the windshield of Gordon’s car, and as one police officer is carrying a bat, another is leading Liv to the police car.

Groaning, Robert turns off the car and jumps out. “Wait, no, this one’s mine.”

“No, she’s not,” Gordon snaps.

“Yes, he is,” Liv counters. “Sort of. He’s my brother’s boyfriend, Robert. He lives with us.”

“Right, well, he can claim you when your brother does at the station,” the officer says. “She-”

“Alright, look, just please, wait,” Robert says. “Look, here’s my I.D., would you just call DS Wise, please? Jason Wise. Aaron, her brother- we all just recently found out that this scum hurt him in the one of the worst ways possible when he was a kid. If I have to, I’ll pay for the damage, but frankly, there’s a good chance he’ll soon be sent down, and he won’t have any use for it then, will he?”

The officer sighs. “I’ll call.”

“Thank you,” Robert breathes out. He pulls Liv over. “Seriously? You think this is flipping helping anything?”

“My mum called. She wants to take me away, and Aaron- she said he called her, first. She doesn’t want to testify. I don’t care how little I was, if I’d known, I would have stopped him back then and hurt him for it. But she doesn’t have a car, and her precious china collection is in Ireland.”

Sighing, he pulls her into a one-armed hug. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, and until it is, I really don’t expect you to believe it, but I promise you, everything is going to be okay. It’s just going to be a bumpy, painful ride from here to there.”

The officers come over. “Alright. You can take her, but- what’s happening can’t be used as an excuse for vandalism and threatening bodily harm. If she does something like this again-”

“She won’t,” he promises. He nudges her.

“Yeah,” she mutters. “I won’t.”

Looking over at the scowling Gordon, Robert warns, “As for you, stay away from our Liv.”

“She’s not yours, and I’m the victim here!”

“Right,” Robert says.

Pushing her gently towards the car, he straightens up, extends his palms downwards at his sides, and walks over to Gordon.

“Victim? You don’t seem to get it, do you? There is one reason and one reason alone you and I are talking, Gordon, and she’s standing over there. You being blood means nothing. You lost any right you might have ever had to her the first time you crept into Aaron’s room.”

“He wouldn’t do anything, because, for all his mistakes, he’s a decent bloke, but if it were just him, and something happened, he could handle it. But it’s easier for a kid to deal with having a dad in prison than in the wind. I’m Robert Sugden, and my brother’s Andy Sugden. If you haven’t already heard about our reputations, especially mine, ask around. Aaron’s a Dingle, and I know everyone’s heard about certain people who’ve crossed the Dingles and just disappeared. No body, no anything.”

Moving a little closer, he continues, “If you make us believe that her possibly hating us and crying into her pillow is preferable to the risk you pose to her safety, people might be looking for you or your body for years. So, yeah, do yourself a favour and stay away from our Liv.”

Walking over, he opens the passenger door, and when Liv gets in, says, “Seatbelt on.” After she complies, he shuts the door, nods to the officers, and gets in the driver’s side.

…

When they get to the ice-cream shop, Liv rushes over to hug a hurriedly apologising Gabby, and Robert pauses at the sight of Lawrence sitting in the booth next to Simon.

Gabby rolls her eyes. “He felt morally obligated to keep an eye on us ‘til you got back."

Massaging his temples, Robert responds, “Thank you, Lawrence. Uh, I’ve got to have another Americano or, at least, something caffeinated. Could I buy you something? As thanks?”

“You know what? That would be nice. Let’s let these young ladies and gentleman socialise for a bit while you and I talk?”

“Liv, do you-” He sees Gabby is already sharing the large amount of ice-cream and other sweets she got with her. “Never mind. Here’s for a drink, if you want.”

…

“You like her more than you ever did Lucky.”

Robert grumbles into his coffee before swallowing. “I would have done the same thing for him.”

“My statement still holds.”

“Alright, you know what, enjoy your ice-cream, Lawrence. I-”

Lawrence stops him. “I’m sorry. I really do want to talk to you about something.”

“Fine, but since we’re no longer anything to one another, I reserve the right to walk away.” Looking towards the toilets, he adds, “And if Gabby isn’t back in five minutes, I’m going to have start trying to track her down.” Shaking his head, he says, “At least, when I had to deal with Lachlan, I only had to deal with him.”

Chuckling sympathetically, Lawrence says, “You’re doing fine.”

“Thanks.”

“I was- I was surprised you didn’t bring up the break-in.”

Tensing, Robert absently rubs his chest. “No, I told you I never would. Since I literally saved your life, I asked for one thing, for us not to come here. Sometimes,” he muses, “I wonder what would happened if you had brought us here back then. But it was a request. Chrissie never needs to know you were there or who I was with.”

“You weren’t with anyone,” Lawrence snaps.

Glancing over at the kids, Robert leans back and smirks. “We both know I was going to be. Yeah, it definitely would have ruined any chance I had with Chrissie, and at best, you would have killed me, and at worst, ruined me in other ways, but the decision had been made. By both of us. Given that, the fact I wasn’t actually in the middle of sex or had it yet doesn’t really matter. I told her the truth, and I lied. I deserved whatever I got for deciding to seduce someone in my office, and you- didn’t deserve to have her angry and just- devastated at the fact you were going to let me seduce that person, in part because it would have gotten me away from her.”

“Why?”

“Sorry, what,” Robert asks.

“Why were you- If you didn’t want to marry Chrissie, there were far better ways for you to have ended things. You knew you wouldn’t have lost your job just because the engagement was broken. As you noted, I would have hated you for it. So, why did you feel the need to do such a horrible thing?”

 “Short answer? I was messed up. The long answer,” he glances back over at the three, “is a fleshed explanation of how exactly I was messed up. Whether this makes it better or worse, I genuinely wanted the person. I still wanted to marry Chrissie, and of course, I knew there was no logic or decency in what I was doing, but there it was. I was going to have it, at least, once.”

Lawrence shakes his head.

“But I have changed, now.”

“Well, of course, you have. After the shooting- but this goes deeper than even that," Lawrence says. “That’s what happens when men create or find families of their own. I know you’ve always had these ideas about Ellen and I, but- without her, I wouldn’t be here today.”

Robert squeezes his hand. “I’m glad you are.” Letting go, he stands up. “Sorry for the craziness today. Whenever you’re ever in town, feel free to join us for a meal. I better go get the dream team sorted. Take care of yourself.”

…

Parking the car, Robert sighs. “Right. Even all this, I’m still not going to talk down to you. I don’t like or agree with what your mum did, either. That said, Aaron sees it differently. He’s glad you were gone, because, it meant not having to worry about Gordon ever hurting you. Now, though, unless you want to go, there’s no way I’m letting her take you. Not until I properly win a game of draughts against Basil, at any rate.”

“I’ve told you, red always win. We’ve all told you. If you didn’t insist on always playing-”

“Deny it all you want, I know you help her cheat.”

Liv smiles.

Smiling slightly, he puts an arm over her shoulders. “You don’t have to, but if you ever have something important to talk about, I am an option. Not just when it comes to all this, either.”

She nods. Hesitating, she asks, “If I weren’t- would you really kill Dad? Gordon?”

“I don’t know,” he answers. “I’d be tempted. But it’d depend on what I thought was best for Aaron.”

“He doesn’t like it when other people make decisions for him. Big ones, I mean, not the kind he lets me make.”

“Well, I don’t like the fact he slurps his cereal or refuses to accept that, if he can do big things for me, I can do big things for him. Couples don’t have to like everything about one another.”

“I don’t think he’d kill someone for you.”

“Fair enough, but if he can occasionally nurse the idea of murdering a harmless fourteen-year-old kid for his sister’s sake, I can wish I could do more to hurt the person who hurt him in one of the worst ways imaginable.”

She considers it. “Yeah, well, Aaron likes doing big things for people, but he doesn’t know how to handle it when they do it back.”

“He’ll just have to learn, then.” At her nod, he asks, “Ready to go in?”

“Yeah.”

…

Adam is suddenly a giant cuddle-bug, but Aaron can’t find it in him to complain.

Liv and Robert come in, and Liv scoffs. “Oh, you can cuddle with your mate, but whenever Simon needs a cuddle-”

Detangling himself, he stands up. “I thought he wasn’t supposed to touch girls unless they’re family or he’s married. He won’t touch Gabby. But sleeping in your bed-”

“Because, he likes her, as in, he fancies her silly. I’d never do her wrong with a bloke she likes. I've told you over and over again, he just got sleepy and fell asleep while we were listening to music. End of. And Chas and Robert believe me. Simon just sees me as the girl with the big brother she can threaten to sic on his bullies. Which, if he ever needs you to, you or Robert will be straightening them out.”

“Yeah, of course." He pulls her into a hug, but she squirms out.

“Um, also, I skipped school, went to Gordon’s, and broke his windshield. Robert stopped the police from taking me.”

“What,” is all he can manage.

“Right, that’s my cue to leave,” Adam says. Getting up, he hugs Aaron again. “Call or text if you need us, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will do."

Adam pats Robert on the way out. “Good luck, mate.”

…

When he’s done examining her arms and legs, Liv rolls her eyes. “I told you, none of the glass hit me. And he didn’t try to touch me.”

Glancing over at where Robert’s sitting, he demands, “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Honestly, it just slipped my mind. First, I was too worried about finding her and making sure Gabby and Simon were okay, and then, Lawrence and I got to talking.”

Getting up, he sits down at the table. “Fine. Um, thank you. For keeping her- Liv, you could have been arrested. Charged. And that would have been better than what Gordon might’ve done.”

Standing, Robert digs a can of beer and the bottle of fizzy orange juice out of the fridge. “Sandra called her.” Setting a glass down, he adds, “I’ll let you two talk.”

Kissing Aaron, he goes upstairs.

Until now, Aaron had somehow forgotten about his call to Sandra. Groaning, he pours Liv a glass and opens the beer. “What- what did she say?”

“That she was coming. That I might need to go back to Ireland with her. Just be honest. If you don’t want me around-”

“Liv, I’ve wanted you around since I first saw you again. I’ll always want you around. Listen.” He sighs. “I’ve told ya, I worry about Gordon hurting you. When I found out you’d been seeing him, I got scared, and- well, Robert convinced me the best way to handle things was to tell and make him pay. But I’ve been living with this since I was eight, and I was convinced, if anyone ever found out-” He pauses.

“Yeah, I think I get it,” she says. “Do you think going to therapy every week is really going to help?”

“I hope so,” he answers. “I know you’re not completely on-board, but I think this will really be good for us. Yours isn’t going to tell anyone what you say, and I don’t know if I’ll ever stop needing it, but you might get to where you only need it once a month, and then, you might get to where you don’t need it at all.”

“Robert isn’t going.”

“Well, Robert is nowhere near as screwed up as we are, eh?”

She frowns. “I dunno. Gabby’s brilliant, but she has loads of issues. Simon has to deal with bullies. Me mum’s messed up. Chas used to be. Vic’s blood and married to Adam, so, she doesn’t count. But I reckon most people who like us have something a bit messed up about them.”

Smiling, he goes over and leans down to kiss her head. “I sort things out with the school, but please, promise me you won’t do something like this again.”

“I promise.” She squeezes his hand. “Go get Robert. I’ll start heating up dinner.”

…

Coming up to Robert getting out of the shower, he feels his mouth go dry.

“Hey, everything sorted?” In the bedroom, Robert drops the towel and starts digging through the pants drawer.

“Uh, yeah,” he manages.

Coming over, he halts Robert’s movements and kisses him. It deepens, but Robert catches his hand before it can make its designation. Sighing, Robert says, “Better not. We might have Bernice or Ms Ghiassy or, in something that would be very interesting and potentially terrifying, both at the same time over soon.”

He knows Robert has a point, but-

Unfortunately, Robert is already half-dressed.

…

“Babies, Sandra’s here!” his mum calls from the pub.

“I’m fifteen,” Liv complains. “You’re a grownup.”

Robert laughs. “Aw. It’s sweet.”

“Aaron, does me having a gay brother mean I won’t be charged with a hate crime when I kill your boyfriend?”

Remembering Jackson, Aaron answers, “Probably not, but,” standing up, he shoves a pillow against Robert’s face, “you could try arguing that, technically, bisexuals aren’t officially covered, eh?” Holding his hand out, he pulls her up. “She’s your mum, she loves you, and you’re going nowhere.”

Hugging him, she nods.

Standing, Robert puts a hand on both of their shoulders.

…

After she’s finished hugging Liv, Sandra hugs him. “I’m so sorry, love,” she tearfully tells him.

He tries not to tense too much. “Are you hungry? We, well, Robert, mostly, made some buttered noodles.”

Letting go, she gives Robert a tentative smile. “Hiya. Liv’s told me all about you. Sandra.” She offers her hand.

Robert shakes it. “Robert Sugden.”

This might go badly, Aaron abruptly realises. Even before what Gordon did came out, Robert has never seemed impressed when Aaron’s talked about Sandra, and now- he hasn’t really said anything, but he probably falls more the way Liv thinks when it comes to how she handled everything.

As for Sandra- there was an incident where his mum almost attacked her with shoes when Sandra found out he was gay. She was surprised, and she asked some questions, and most of them, he’ll admit, weren’t unreasonable. She just wanted to make sure strange men weren’t going to be in close contact with Liv, but the way she’d asked some of them had set both him and his mum off.

Still, he managed to, shockingly, be the one to calm things down and make peace between the two.

…

“Robert’s very nice,” Sandra says. “He doesn’t seem to like me much, though.”

“He likes ya just fine. He’s just worried about me, and even though they’d both deny it, him and Liv have become something like mates.”

Feeling a tug on his socks, he looks down to see Basil. “Nice try, but Liv’s not here. You want on the table, you climb on it yourself.”

Tugging the sock down, Basil proceeds to lick at his ankle.

“Er-” Sandra says.

“Don’t worry. Liv’s a little taxi, always toting her around and putting her up on things, spoiling her rotten. She can climb anything, though. No one believes me, but she once let all the dogs out at Paddy’s.”

Based on Sandra’s look, he reckons it’s safe to add her to the list of nonbelievers.

“Anyway, about Livvie- I, I was thinking of getting a flat in town. I know she’ll want to stay with you and Robert, but hopefully, she’ll come visit me, occasionally. Is it easy to move Basil’s playhouse? Or I have some money saved up, I could buy another one for-”

“Sandra, not that I’m objecting, but why are you staying?”

Blinking, she answers, “For you. The trial. I- if I give a statement, too, hopefully, they’ll charge him soon.”

He feels the breath leave him.

She puts a tentative hand on his. “I- I’m sorry, love. I know- I’m sorry.”

Wiping at his tears, he shakes his head. “Thank you. You don’t- you don’t need to keep being sorry.”

“I know you and Liv don’t understand," she says. "I’m so glad she doesn’t. I’m just not a strong person, Aaron. Your mum, whatever her other faults, she is. I was- well, it wasn’t exactly like the fifties and sixties, but in many ways, I was raised to be some man’s wife. And I loved your dad, and I loved you. When I found out what he was, what he was capable of, I’d already had Liv. And I should have taken you both right then, but I’m not strong, and no one ever gave me any idea on what I should do in a situation like that. When I did take her- I’m not afraid of working hard, but not being very skilled, no uni under my belt, and trying to make sure she was always fed and clothed, plus, always being scared he’d find us, there was just no money for extras and not enough time for me to devote to her.”

Sighing, she softly says, “I’m so glad she’s strong.”

He considers how to respond. Finally, he says, “One of my therapists once told me that he lets himself assume one thing about all his patients: That they’re trying their best. Their best might not look like his, but what matters is they are. You were a better mum than mine I ever was back then, and when she first found Gordon, Liv was a little wild, but she was never a bad kid.”

“No, she wasn’t. But I was so afraid her wildness would get her hurt or in trouble.”

“Well, we’re never going to let that happen, are we?” He squeezes her hand. “As for the playhouse, don’t worry right now. Basil only plays in it some days, and if we need to get another, I’ll see if Adam can get us in touch with whoever made it.”

…

“Hurry up!”

Popping his head out, Aaron sees Liv is banging on the bathroom door.

“You’re only allowed to shower in the morning because it doesn’t take you long! Robert, if I get a bladder infection-”

The door wrenches open, and a grumpy-faced, towel-clad Robert has barely moved out before Liv has locked herself in.

“If we get a place of our own, it’s definitely having two bathrooms,” Robert informs him. “Preferably on opposite sides of the house.”

“So, we’re getting a house, huh?”

“All the flats around here are smaller than this place,” Robert huffily points out. Then, however, he takes a breath, his eyes go soft, and he pulls Aaron over.

He warms down to his toes. This is the type of kiss, slow and soft but deep, he always forgets how much he craves until it happens. He always knows how much Robert wants him, but when this happens, he swears he can feel how much Robert loves him, and all the ways he loves Robert brim to the surface.

“Ugh, if you two are going to stay here to do _that_ , then, I’m-”

They break apart, and Aaron insists, “You’re going to school. Come on.”

…

 At the scrapyard, Adam asks, “Hey, ya alright, mate?”

Looking over, Aaron answers, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure? Only, you seem kind of far away, mentally.”

“It’s normal boyfriend stuff, I promise.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

They continue working.

“After this, I’ll leave it,” Adam says, “but, uh, just remember, me and you talked about Jackson, especially after the accident.”

He sighs. “The thing is, we haven’t, y’know- been together properly since before all this came about Gordon out. And this morning, he took longer than usual in the shower and came out tetchy when Liv started banging down the door. I think he was trying to-” He makes a vague gesture.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well, I think you know that it’s best to talk to him before everything builds. Um, I’d say don’t do it when you’re actually in bed or bring it up when there’s a good chance you might be interrupted.”

“Thanks, mate.”

Adam smiles. “Ya know, Vic and Katie both reckon he was never really in love with anyone before he met you.”

“No, he has been. He’s just changed from the person he used to be. That doesn’t really have anything to do with me, it happened before we even met.”

Shrugging, Adam says, “Whatever the case, for Vic’s sake and yours, I’m glad for him.”

“Yeah, me too.”

…

Adam is gone by the time Robert comes to the scrapyard.

“Hey, help me look at this car,” Aaron says. “It should only take a week to get all fixed up.”

Finding a car for Sandra isn’t exactly a sore subject between him and Robert, but he knows Robert silently takes the view every one from Cain to even Liv is taking. He supposes it’s one he’d probably take, too, if it were anyone else, but it just doesn’t strike him as right to have Liv’s mum always having to walk, catch a bus, or get a ride from someone. 

“Should work,” Robert agrees. “Tell me there are plans to paint it.”

Rolling his eyes, he says, “Of course.”

“Good.” Moving back, Robert says, “I was thinking, if you don’t have anything this weekend, we could take Liv to London. I’ve already talked to Simon, there’s not going to be homework this weekend. And I know things are chilly between her and Sandra, and okay, I have my own issues with her, but believe it or not, I’m suggesting this partly because it might help that. Giving her some time away from all the gossip, reinforcing that we’re both there for her, it might help her be more secure in trying to bond with her mum.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

Robert smiles brightly, and tossing the wrench aside, Aaron goes over, grabs his hand, and leads him into the portacabin.

…

Robert’s response to the kiss is hungry and fierce, but when Aaron gets his belt almost off, Robert pushes at him. “Wait.”

Watching Robert loop his belt back through and buckle it, Aaron’s heart sinks.

He doesn’t _want_ to be a mature grownup about this, but he knows he’ll regret not being, and with everything going on, he can’t afford to have such regrets in his life.

“Look, mate, you’re not doing anyone any favours by staying if you don’t see me like that anymore. Not me, not you, not Liv. So-”

Giving him an exasperated look, Robert deliberately leans against the door. “Why do you always have to fall back on your abandonment issues when- I’m sorry Jackson left the way he did. That your mum did, and that you still feel like the bad guy for finally leaving a relationship you were never going to be truly happy in. But, aware this is only going to incite you, that was you, spending two years just because Ed was good enough and life was nice. I’ve told you, I don’t just walk away, and you should know by now that I don’t say things I don’t mean. If I didn’t want to be with you, I’d say so.”

He knows he shouldn't, but he finds himself retorting, “Like when you thought of me when you were with Chrissie? In her bed at night, kissing her in the morning, making brekkie for her and her son, and you were thinking of me. Of my touch, of just being with me, talking to me. We can both be honest, can’t we, and say that, if she hadn’t told you it was completely over, you’d still be with her.”

“Right,” Robert sighs. “It always comes back to her.”

Suddenly incredibly tired, Aaron shakes his head. “No, it really doesn’t. I tell you what happened with Gordon, and suddenly, we stop having sex. What exactly am I supposed to take from that?”

It might break him, he knows, but he _needs_ to know what exactly caused this shift. The cut on his arm has closed up, but whether it’ll completely heal and disappear or turn into a scar is unknown. Was him doing it the changing point? Is Robert disgusted because he let what Gordon did happen? Does Robert see him as weak, now?

The last one scares him the most.     

When it was just a one-night stand, he didn’t want to deal with questions and potential rejection by revealing his scars. Later on, when it became more but still causal, he decided he never would show Robert, because, he had figured out Robert didn’t have much use for weak people.

Even without everything involving Gordon, though Robert would likely be much friendlier towards Sandra, he wouldn’t ever be close to her. It’s why, despite what Aaron’s mum did, he does manage to genuinely get on with her. It’s why he prefers Liv over Lachlan; he’s bonded with her, and he basically spoiled Lachlan and helped clean up his messes mainly to keep him out of the way and be with Chrissie without a fuss. It’s why, even when he one day goes to Lawrence’s grave to gloat, he’ll likely bring some nice flowers or quality liquor, too.

“Aaron-” Moving closer, Robert tries to touch him, and he bats the hands away.

Nodding, Robert lowers them. “It’s about both of us.”

“Okay.”

Taking a breath, Robert says, “With all this going on, you aren’t in a good place. I know you’re coping, I don’t mean that. But I don’t want to take advantage of you or somehow make things worse. And I don’t- before we became a couple, if you ever had sex with me just to cope with something, that’s fine. I don’t care. But I would now. I don’t want you and me together like that to be ever be used as a coping mechanism.”

“If he’s charged, the trial could go on for months," Aaron points out. "So, what, you were just going to wait for months or even more for me to be in a better place psychologically?”

“Yes,” Robert answers. “Again, if you were with someone else back then, I don’t care. I wasn’t. Remember, there were times we didn’t meet for months, but I didn’t want anyone else. Now, at least,” he tentatively touches Aaron’s check, “I can touch you. You’re beside me at night. We can just talk, and that’s so much easier than it was back then.”

The words cause a rush inside him. “Really?”

He was never with anyone else, but the thought Robert wasn’t, either- in the beginning of their relationship, he’d decided to go the same route as Robert and not care. They weren’t exclusive, and so, Robert had every right to be others. When Robert promised he’d only be with Aaron, Aaron knew he could trust him.

“Yeah,” Robert answers. “I still want you, Aaron. I always will.”

“I wasn’t with anyone else, either.”

“Really?” Robert gives him a soft, bright smile.

“Yeah,” he confirms. Moving closer, he wraps his hand around Robert’s arm. “If you want to wait, we can, but you don’t need to for me. When all this started, you might’ve been right. My head was all messed up. Now, though, I’m in a much better place. This isn’t about coping.”

Moving closer, he strokes a spot near Robert’s ribs over the shirt, and Robert bites his lip. “See, about two years ago, I met this boy in a bar, and I went to his hotel room. Even though I really wanted it to, nothing happened. That’s probably a good thing. I was beyond stressed that night, and being with him woulda helped, but that, that would have been using sex with a stranger to cope.”

“Now, though, I have this amazing boyfriend. Drives me mental sometimes, but still amazing.”

Grinning, Robert replies, “Oh, really?”

Trying to keep his own grin under control, he nods. “He can’t even start a new job without getting into a feud with someone within the first week, he’s still a daft idiot who thinks Japanese cars are the best, I oughta turn him in for abuse with the way he’s constantly kicking me, and he’s always making a fuss about the way I eat my cereal.  But I’m stupidly gone on him. And when we’re together, again, it’s going to be all about wanting to be with my boyfriend and how much I love him.”

They kiss, and Aaron keeps his hands on Robert’s side and his back, but the belt clanks when it hits the floor.

…

Afterwards, he’s a bit dazed from the pleasure, but at the same time, he’s also feeling a lot clearer.

Finishing getting dressed, he leans against the desk next to Robert. “Hey. Uh, this wasn’t about coping or anything like that, but I want to say thanks. For being here. I don’t think I could’ve done all this without you.”

Rubbing his shoulder against Aaron’s, Robert says, “Yes, you could. You’re one of the strongest, bravest people I’ve ever met, Aaron. But thanks. For letting me be here.”

They share a soft kiss.

…

When they get back from London, his mum hugs him and Liv. “DS Wise called, loves. They’re charging Gordon.”

“Good,” is Liv’s stone-faced reply.

Letting out a breath, he kisses her head. “Yeah. Good. Um, let’s all sit down.”

Once he and his mum are in chairs, and Liv is settled against Robert on the couch, he says, “When this is all over, whatever happens, I want to change my name. Be a Dingle like you,” he says with a look at his mum. “I don’t want his name.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” His mum hugs him and peppers his face with kisses until he squirms away.

Looking over, he tries to judge what Liv’s thinking and feeling.

“Good,” she repeats. Coming over, she presses against him. “I’m glad Mum changed mine. He doesn’t deserve to have anyone carry on his name, and we don’t deserve to have that monster’s name following us, being part of us.”

…

The trial and sentencing go quicker than he ever thought, and he supposes he should have known-

Five minutes ago, everyone had been celebrating the certificate declaring him a Dingle, and now, Liv is shaking, and DS Wise is looking at them with sympathetic eyes.

Their dad, Gordon, hung himself.

…

Taking off his coat, he puts it over Liv’s shoulders and sits down next to her on the park bench.

Her voice is croaky when she finally starts to talk. “I understand you had problems, you were still a teenager, technically, and you were scared everyone was gonna hate you, and I know you’d never try that, again, so, I don’t blame you, but why would he do this? It’s mean. Just another way to be cruel.”

Wrapping the jacket more firmly around her, he hugs her. “I wish I could say, Liv. It’s alright to love him, I’ll never try to make you feel bad for that, but that’s what he was. A mean, cruel coward. If it helps, this was about hurting me, not you. I’m the one he wanted to break.”

“He was stupid, then,” she scoffs. Wiping her tears, she continues, “I want to give my inheritance to my mum. I don’t have great grades, but they’re good enough I can go to uni. Because of him, she’s been living scared, with nothing special for herself, for years. She deserves something for that. It’s the least he owes her and me for doing her like that.”

Pride swells in his chest. “We can definitely talk more about that. But you know, she had you. That’s something special right there.”

She clasps her hand in his. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Looking up at the sky, he remembers how Jackson watched the seagulls. “And what Robert said to you in hospital, I didn’t really understand it, then, but I do, now. I used to hate our dad, Liv. But for all the evil he did, he did this one great thing. He and Sandra had you. That doesn’t mean he deserved you. Feel whatever you feel, and do whatever you think you need to. From now on, you’re ours. And well, I reckon Robert might have a claim, too.”

She gives a soft laugh.

“No matter what, I’m always going to love and protect you. Everything he took from you, I’m going to try to give back.”

“Yeah, I already know all this. I’ve known since I was fourteen.”

“And I know how much you love and want to protect me,” he says. “Sometimes, it’s important to say these things, anyways.”

“Yeah.” Squeezing his hand, she stands up. “Let’s go home.”

…

During the summer, he, Robert, and Liv go on holiday.

In the bar, he finds Robert and sits down next to him. “If she and Basil aren’t safely back by eight, you can’t stop me with talk of hate crimes. He’s an eighteen-year-old, white, Presbyterian boy hanging around with an underage girl.”

“They’re swimming in the pool,” Robert points out in his ‘my boyfriend’s a mentalist’ voice. “If she’s not back by eight on the dot, we can just walk down there and- Wait, you actually asked his religious affiliation?”

“Yeah, well, Gabby isn’t around, is she?”

Shaking his head, Robert asks, “Did you call your mum?”

“Yeah, she and Jane are doing fine. And based on the way she talked about DS Wise, we really need to start looking for a place of our own when we get back.”

“Good for them,” Robert comments.

“I just hope she doesn’t mess it up,” he confesses. “When she was with Paddy- I dunno. I don’t think you can call yourself a Dingle until you’ve screwed up, at least, one good relationship.”

“Well, in your case, it’ll just have to be retroactive, then, because, uh, it looks like you’re stuck with me until my last day,” Robert says. Kissing him, he asks, “Want a pint?”

“Sounds good.”

Robert starts to walk away, but something twinges in Aaron.

He catches Robert’s arm. “Wait. Hold on a minute.”

“What?”

“On that Game of Thrones show you and Liv watch, isn’t- ‘until my last day’, don’t they say that during weddings?”

Giving him an uncertain look, Robert answers, “Well, not exactly, no, but it is used as an oath."

Laughing, Aaron pulls him closer. “Are you saying you want to marry me?”

“I thought it was something we could talk about,” Robert hedges. “Eventually.”

“If you are, my answer’s yes.”

Robert lights up. “Really?”

“Really,” he confirms. “Uh, but we’ll have to do a proper wedding, or else, your sister and my best mate might make it both of our last days before we ever get a honeymoon.”

Robert kisses him, soft and slow but deep, and in the background of the pleasure, anticipation for the future, for their future, spreads through Aaron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed this fic.


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